Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am.

   My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep

   My 80 year young mother in law and I are fighting over who's gonna drive to the strip club..... priceless

   Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.

   My mother-in-law has to work for "Tips",,,,,,,,,, Yeah,, You see, Nobody will put the whole thing in....

   my mother always told me , believe none of what yah hear, and only half of what yah see

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?

   Apparently, mother nature isn't too fond of the brothers either…

   ''Holy sh!t! Is this my mother?'' - Snooki's baby

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.

   These teens moms, calling themselves a mother because they gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.

   It would be funny if in the last episode of How I Met Your Mother, Old Ted tells his kids "I'm just kidding, I never met your mother. You're adopted.

   My nickname for my mother was Hannibal Lecture.

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Horror movies don't scare me. Five missed calls from my mother scares me.

   "I wish Ted would just tell his poor kids how he met they're mother!!!"

   I'm taking my kids to see their mother today. Actually, we're going to feed some ducks but I'm sure her rotting body is still in that pond.