Funny Status Messages



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Page: 162 of 6389

   messageicon "I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."
←Rate | 12-29-2009 06:32 by Hassan Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby."
←Rate | 12-29-2009 06:33 by Hassan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Verizon called me complaining that my map was in their way.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 06:48 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:00 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:01 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon hopes that the recent actions of Muhamed-Bob Flare Pants doesn't necessitate Homeland Security from implementing undergarment removal at airport security checkpoints
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon those who caught speaking in spanish will be paid in pesos...
←Rate | 12-29-2009 11:04 by Julius Comments (0)  


   messageicon no terrorist, but he has blown up his underwear a time or two.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 12:34 by chuckg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:00 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember food does not replace sex!! Unless of course its Ho Ho's and Ding Dongs :)
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:21 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's current releationship status: A single woman in a complicated relationship,with a married man,who is in an open relationship with a widow, who is engaged to my cousin.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just came back to update the status.. now going back to bed.. bye
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:39 by Babar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make sure you wear clean drawls when you go to the airport!
←Rate | 12-29-2009 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the infidels came and put him down, MuhamedBob turned into a clown, now no afterlife virgin will want to dance with the fool who went and, burned his pants
←Rate | 12-29-2009 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The National Eczema Association are currently fundraising. They've just launched a scratch card.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon got a head start on Christmas next year, I already have my tree up!
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:19 by SLONEY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:21 by SLONEY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:22 by SLONEY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, iPhone...Stop correcting all my 'F#CK"s to "DUCK"s. It makes my Strongly-worded texts sound Cute and Adorable...
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:44 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  




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