Monday Funny Status Messages

   Screw Daylight Savings Time. Losing an hour on the weekend means we're one hour closer to Monday. Dammit.

   Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.

   Ah yes, Friday. Wha...What was that? Saw it out of the corner of my eye. There, behind the...I just saw it duck down. There it is again disappearing just as I almost get a glimpse of it. MONDAY! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU BA$TARD!

   I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning.

   I’m not saying she’s a slut, but she’s been banged more times than a snooze button on Monday morning.

   "Today its Sunday" Forward this to 15 friends,.. within 7 days you"ll get another Sunday. it really works... One of my friends ignored it and he got Monday within 24 hours

   I promised my boss i'd come in early for work on monday Aint that a great April fool's prank......

   getting drunk on Saturday is like going to work on Monday. Its just something you have too do.

   It's Friday for me and Monday for my liver.

   Joyce, the office slut, just sneezed and now we all have to take a mandatory HIV test on Monday :(

   A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday...

   Monday is like a math problem. Add irritation, subtract sleep, multiply problems & divide happiness. I hate Mondays!

   If 40 is the new 30, then Monday is the new Friday.

   Bacon is natures way of making up for Monday mornings.

   Goodbye Memorial Day weekend. Like a fifth of Vodka and a handful of prescription painkillers you made Monday more bearable......

   Monday,.. that better not be your ugly ass I see peeking around the corner!

   "Knock knock", "who's there?", "Weekend", "Weekend who?", "We can wish it was the weekend, but its MOnday!"

   Me Monday ƪ(´~`")∫ Tuesday (-____-)"" Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀) Thursday Ҩ( > ̯ < )Ҩ Friday (ˆ⌣ˆ)ง Saturday ~('▽'~) (~'▽')~ Sunday (˘ʃ_ƪ˘)

   Finishing the Monday after vacation is like when Nick Wallenda's feet hit the ground after crossing the Grand Canyon on the Skywire

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.