Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   thinks his facebook has been hacked! I'm going to change my password to: titus_b12bomberraid.. That oughta do the trick!

   if I mad 9.9 million dollars a year,.. a b*tch wouldn't be my problem either."

   Biggest trade to date: Lakers to trade Jack Nicholson

   Whats the difference between arrogant and ignorant? Brithish and Welsh

   The Makers of K-2 has just come out with another break through synthetic, called J-2. Its Synthetic Jesus in incense form. No need to go to church now, you are automatically saved from hell fire and damnation! Side effects may include speaking in tongues.

   A great way to start my day, I got a speeding ticket on my way to work & got written up for getting late...

   95% of People who say, "Study! Study! Study!" during finals week are actually reading...Too bad they don't realize Facebook is not actually a book.....

   Better to have people think you are an idiot then opening your mouth and proving them right

   I think, therefore I thought.

   Whoever says that pizza is not good for you is sooo wrong. You can actually get every single food group into a single slice. You can't say that about much else.

   ‎"I'm sorry"~Reggie Bush

   Your Skin Is Pale White and you dont go out in the sun. Say it,Vampire. No I just play a lot of world of warcraft.

   shopping for halloween costumes with Tera Patrick.

   dressing as pac-man and chasing people in burka's.

   Thinks it's good to see some of the women at work growing a movember too.

   What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? “If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!”

   This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you'd be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.

   chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head

   thinks the voices in his head need serious singing lessons (ever heard the Smurfs performing Enter Sandman?)

   ..is so poor, she can't even afford to window shop.