Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Oven = Xbox for women. 
Donald Trump is so terrible at negotiating that he can't even find a way to convince his wife to live with him.
18 school shootings since Jan. 1st...by the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.
The president is offering cure advice with disinfectant to a country who require NOT FOR RECTAL USE warnings on curling irons
Not standing for the national anthem is considered offensive, but rallying a hate group is considered freedom of speech? I'm convinced, you people are messed up in the head.
WARNING: If you see a link that tells you to, "Click For Free Nickelback Tickets!", Do not click!! I repeat, DO NOT CLICK!!!! It directs you to a link that will actually give you free Nickelback tickets!!!!
Penn State University.......Pedophile U
You and your fat girlfriend standing next to each other looking like the number 10
................................................................U know when guys pee and they shake their pen!s for that last drop? ..............................................That's how much gas I got for 2 dollars.
A new drug has been developed for lesbi@ns with depression. It's called "Trycoxagain"
Q: why do military men wear uniforms at their weddings??.... A: to be prepared for "The Battle" afterwords...
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"Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you will wish you had a club and a spade.
Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
The Duck Dynasty guys need to to look in their beards, I'm sure there's a few ducks in them...
Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep
I'm just a regular guy, I boil my spaghetti one noodle at a time.
Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse...
"If you are under investigation by the FBI. you should not be president -Donald Trump 7/14/16 