Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5527 of 6446

My girlfriend is currently trying to understand my desire to unicycle. She accepted my ukulele playing, but this is apparently too far!

hears there may not be any football in 2011, and would like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for preparing us with no football in 2010.

What's LOVE? In math: A problem... In history: A war... In chemistry: A reaction... In art: A heart...In me: You...
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11-04-2010 21:31 by jgrab
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When life leaves you speechless, music provides the lyrics to help you find the meaning...
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11-04-2010 21:23 by jgrab
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I made a promise to myself years ago. that as I begin to age considerably...I will keep with me some semblance of fashion. Never when wearing shorts, will I sport black socks and dress shoes..I will try to keep my trousers up to a reasonable height...wh
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11-04-2010 21:21
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So we just spent $4 billion on an election about "too much spending?"
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11-04-2010 21:09 by jdpower
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We may be falling behind China in some ways, but our underground drug tunnels are second to none. USA!!
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11-04-2010 21:06 by jdpower
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reminds parents of children under 3 years to refer to their kid's age in years, not months. It's a child, not cheese.
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11-04-2010 21:05
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there's nothing like watching a commerical of people making out with a McRib sandwich......kinda turns m on
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11-04-2010 20:40
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"A Deficit... really? ... What do you mean we're overdrawn? .. can't be... I have checks left" -- President O'Bama

OK Santa I guess your going to celebrate thanksgiving also
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11-04-2010 20:21
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its not Christmas time yet and Starbucks is holiday happy. We still have to get though thanksgiving people.
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11-04-2010 20:18
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The Republicans have announced they intend to make it more difficult to claim benefits. Starting next week the forms will only be printed in English.
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11-04-2010 19:05 by jimbo
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Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

I hate to admit it but i'm in a really dark place right now... oh wait.... found the light switch... phew! never-mind :
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11-04-2010 18:26 by bill
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converted my dishwasher into a snowblower: bought the wife a new snow shovel for her birthday!

bad Facebook!! you almost made me take out that row of mailboxes
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11-04-2010 18:19
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im a fan of the tube top, but even tires have pressure limits....
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11-04-2010 18:03
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Why is the FONT so small on Facebook all of the sudden. I see the Republicans have started with their nonsense already.
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11-04-2010 17:58
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Whatever happened to the happy Mentos commercials. Those were the highlight of my day!!!!
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11-04-2010 17:49
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