Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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4312

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"What the h*ll is wrong with you, if I wanted a loser I would have married Tony Romo" ~ Giselle to Tom probably

←Rate | 01-19-2014 19:48 by Gary Comments (1)

At this stage of the football season, all I care about is #s and food.

←Rate | 01-19-2014 21:43 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)

Kaepernick wish he had them Dre beats noise cancelation head phones to cancel the noise from Seatle fans right about now!

←Rate | 01-19-2014 21:55 Comments (0)

"Oooga Booga Ooga Booga" Richard Sherman

←Rate | 01-19-2014 22:01 Comments (0)

The Weed Bowl is On!

←Rate | 01-19-2014 22:20 by cpaman Comments (0)

It's not all bad for Tom Brady. At least he won't have to listen to Bruno Mars.

←Rate | 01-20-2014 00:09 Comments (0)

saw a magician driving today,first time I looked he was the only one driving,when I looked again a women suddenly appeared in the passenger seat

←Rate | 01-20-2014 04:37 Comments (0)

when I bath I turn off all the lights and pretend I'm still in the womb, then I jump out turn on the lights and start crying....

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:17 by DJL Comments (0)

I hate cyclists. You're driving along enjoying life then BAM! you're stuck driving 10mph behind some jerk with way nicer calves than you

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:21 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

My dog acts like every leaf blowing in the wind outside our door is going to murder his entire family. It's like, grow up

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:29 by Huck Comments (0)

Did you hear that? Busta Rhymes is the best corner in the game. Don't you dare put him up against Crabtree.

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:33 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

Bong Bowl is on! Just don't drink the water

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:34 by Otis Comments (0)

If you think the Harbaugh or Manning brothers are competitive, wait until you meet two friends of mine, named Niles and Frasier Crane.

←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:42 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

Washington and Colorado legalize marijuana, Seattle and Denver advance to the Super Bowl. Coincidence? I think pot!

←Rate | 01-20-2014 08:29 by Michael Comments (0)

Been throwing up gang signs at my mom all morning. Now she won't make me lunch.

←Rate | 01-20-2014 08:39 by SEAN Comments (0)

Sherman...eat a snickers

←Rate | 01-20-2014 08:50 Comments (0)

Super Bowl 48. Two teams from the only two states to have legalized pot. I can't guarantee who'll win, but I can guarantee that Frito-Lay is gonna make more $ than the NFL on this one.

←Rate | 01-20-2014 09:23 by mikel dazzloraray Comments (0)

I can't wait for the SmokeABowl!

←Rate | 01-20-2014 09:29 by scottyB Comments (0)

Superbowl 48, 2 teams from the only 2 states 2 have legalized pot, I'm guessing tht their "secret" of success is a bowl of "weedies" every morn 4 breakfast

←Rate | 01-20-2014 10:13 Comments (0)

Instead of, "Who won?" The most frequently asked question at Super Bowl 48 will be, "Hey, are you gonna eat the rest of those nachos?"

←Rate | 01-20-2014 10:40 by Mc Fazzerino Comments (0)