Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5371 of 6465

Everyone knows that Santa lives at the North Pole, but does anyone know where the Easter Bunny lives?
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04-16-2020 00:02 by Starman
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I just burnt 330 calories in about 30 minutes. And thats the last time I look at facebook with a pizza in the oven!
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04-18-2020 00:10 by Moon
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I just wanna take a vacation and get nastier than a black jelly bean
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04-20-2020 18:20
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"Nothing like a game of Twister, that's our motto." - Makers of IcyHot
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04-22-2020 18:34 by Fazzy
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If your getting together with your 10 piece band to make a "Social Distancing Video" I think you've missed the point of social distancing.
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04-23-2020 20:11
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Dear Curiosity, Just put down the gun and let's talk this out. Sincerely, the Cat.
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10-18-2017 10:19
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A dog can only be as proportionally smart as its owner. So, if you're a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragger, there's no hope for you, and even less for your dog.

I was lost and yes I did go looking but I did not find you Cyndi Lauper. Glad I didn’t fall.
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01-24-2018 19:18
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You know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her
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01-25-2018 03:14
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I just read something that said, "Don't believe everything you read." I'm not sure if I should believe it.

I don't understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake
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02-12-2018 07:45
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Nothing around here makes sense. If something did make sense it wouldn’t make sense because in order to make sense it can’t make sense. Am I making sense?
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02-22-2018 11:09
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I am really not surprised that there are not many women race car drivers, Women drive all over town like race car drivers anyway
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02-26-2018 04:55
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My bank has this cool feature, whenever I want, they send me a text message with my Account balance. I do however think that adding "LOL" at the end of the message is really unnecessary
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03-22-2018 05:14
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f you're not offending anyone here, you're not trying hard enough.
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04-21-2018 08:37
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How much extra is it for the stripper to touch your heart?
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04-26-2018 22:58
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Today is national drug take back day. For your convenience, I will be placing a collection basket outside my front door.
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04-28-2018 09:14 by gil
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If things are slippery when wet, then why is it so hard to get socks on my wet feet?
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04-30-2018 09:18
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I went to the zoo today and saw the elephants . . . but I don't want to TALK about it!
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05-03-2018 15:16
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A scarecrow is outstanding in his field.
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05-03-2018 16:35 by Jake
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