Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Why do we sleep in church, but stay awake through a 2 hour movie?? Why is it so hard to talk to God, but so easy to gossip??Jesus said "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny YOU in front of my Father. 
"going to snap, crackle, and pop your neck"
divulging his mind in the complexities of t... ooo look a kitty
"writing this to entertain the losers who take the time to actually read what others ""status"" is"
Obama on - VA scandal: DIDN'T KNOW Benghazi security: DIDN'T KNOW Fast and Furious: DIDN'T KNOW Lose your doctor: DIDN'T KNOW Bin Laden hit: MASTERMIND
Yeah, you're right dude. I totally can't tell you're fat anymore when you wear a t-shirt in the pool..
A simple sign that reads "This is a bomb-free zone" would have prevented all this.
Pls work on your lyrics Rihanna.. B'coz men hate it when you say the same things again and again. No wonder you got hit by Chris Brown.
Fun facebook prank:Upload a blank black picture then tag your darkest black friend ....Have fun ;D
What do you call a black girl under age 30 named Sarah? Identity thief."
You got your reparations. From our taxes paying for your food stamps, section 8 housing and free school lunches.
Justin Bieber's parents must be so proud of her
it takes a carter to get a reagan
I had a terrible dream last night. I was a baby and Dolly Parton was my mom and she bottle fed me.
If Al Gore is so concerned about the bloody envorniment why does he write so many books......I guess it's ok to use trees and paper if you are making money off them.....envorinmentalists ....DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE
.as the Pope visits us here in the U.K.,i ask myself "If Catholics say God looks down on homosexuality,what does He do when your Priests are messing with little boys? Whistle and turn the other way?"
46 waits until Texas temps return to mid-70's before going to inspect the ice damage. #Putz
Oh btw, if the Dems really cared about keeping families together, they would DROP their support for Planned Parenthood!
From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.
R.I.P tothe other passenger that no one caresabout because he wasn't famous. 