Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
←Rate | 10-18-2018 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you feel "blessed" because you have a lot of stuff, you obviously don't understand the meaning of "blessed."
←Rate | 10-19-2018 06:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by, "that's him officer"
←Rate | 10-19-2018 12:04 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spice things up in the bedroom by loosening the ceiling fan.
←Rate | 04-20-2018 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can say "Have a nice day!" with no problem but you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours." without sounding mildly threatening.
←Rate | 10-13-2018 22:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
←Rate | 09-20-2018 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just swallowed a probiotic with a vodka tonic in case anyone is looking for a health coach.
←Rate | 06-12-2018 02:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my kids knew the oven had a light, they'd leave it on too...
←Rate | 10-10-2018 12:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't accept any friend requests from Taco Bell.. they're nacho friends
←Rate | 10-15-2018 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real SMART TV will start raising it's volume when you start eating chips.
←Rate | 10-10-2018 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Bank Account probabbly thinks I am Dead 😢
←Rate | 10-16-2018 00:04 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you put the words "Let's see who reads this" at the beginning of your post it virtually guarantees that I won't.
←Rate | 08-08-2018 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 07:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember me in your Prayers like you do in your Gossips.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 06:28 by raman911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I'm sure of.... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation..
←Rate | 10-09-2018 17:17 by Mr.Sharp Comments (3)  


   messageicon To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
←Rate | 07-30-2018 19:28 by Truman Comments (3)  


   messageicon There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
←Rate | 12-20-2017 08:59 Comments (1)  


   messageicon a married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
←Rate | 04-17-2018 13:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one has more to say than a woman who says she doesn't want to talk about it.
←Rate | 09-19-2018 08:47 Comments (0)  




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