Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong.
←Rate | 02-19-2021 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of phasing out fossil fuels, let's phase out the fossils in Congress.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 10:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bigfoot keeps his legs in shape by doing sasquats
←Rate | 03-15-2021 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newt Gingrich is calling for a new House Committee on Un-American Activities. I thought that was just called Congress.
←Rate | 06-15-2016 15:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon French toast is just toast that's surrendered.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being clean and sober means i've showered and am heading to the liquor store.
←Rate | 06-18-2016 10:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My phone has better health insurance than I do.
←Rate | 06-21-2016 04:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pixar announces, 'Finding Nemo 3, The Search of Future Revenue.'
←Rate | 06-22-2016 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should you tell your neighbor that leaving their six porch lights on all day makes their Prius rather redundant?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 01:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 22:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump or Hillary? Top socket or bottom socket?
←Rate | 08-04-2016 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: Ryan Lochte originally took up swimming because his pants were always on fire.
←Rate | 08-22-2016 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?.. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?
←Rate | 09-05-2016 15:50 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The winds of change can blow me.
←Rate | 09-11-2016 13:37 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave..
←Rate | 10-15-2016 05:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
←Rate | 10-18-2016 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bright side of a zombie apocalypse is you no longer have to keep up with the Kardashians.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 13:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that's a D you moron !
←Rate | 05-07-2018 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time the doorbell rings my dog will go and sit in a corner........ He' a boxer.
←Rate | 05-09-2018 05:37 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mean Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
←Rate | 06-03-2018 11:35 Comments (0)  




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