Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5711 of 6384
wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome.
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08-12-2010 08:13
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Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
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08-12-2010 08:10
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Some days I just feel like the token black guy.
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08-12-2010 07:31 by Leeferd
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car!
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08-12-2010 06:02 by kbez
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I've used up all my sick days, so tomorrow I'm calling in dead. lol
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08-12-2010 06:01 by kbez
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if your happy and you know it click you "like".........
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08-12-2010 01:56 by Corey C
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Fantasia over doses on asprin, called a home wrecker by cheating with a married mand and even made a sex tape... FINALLY, a celebrity sex tape I will not watch HAHAHA!!
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08-12-2010 01:11
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Amazon always recommends me the things I bought, I mean dude why would I want the same or similar thing again
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08-12-2010 01:05 by SAM
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Go ahead 'like' my day!
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08-12-2010 00:58 by Cindy
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I hate it when someone text me to call them, then when you call they never answer
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08-12-2010 00:35 by smeebert
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Life is full of secrets and lies, so when you get screwed over, don't act surprised.
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08-11-2010 23:35
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Life will always be like a roller coaster ride! Make sure your seatbelt is fastened and hold on tight because its full of thrills, screams, chills, fear, excitement, tears, laughter, joy, anxiety, and the will to do it all over again! "Life I tell ya!"
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08-11-2010 23:19 by BEGO
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The one thing I hate about touch screen phones is the fact that you'll find yourself wiping them more then your ass.
Sometimes I wish I could just fast-forward through time, just to see if it's all worth it in relationship that we have..
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08-11-2010 22:28 by BEGO
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Facebook is the ultimate weapon of couples' distraction and relationships' destruction
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08-11-2010 22:20 by BEGO
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Ya think Vampires eat Tampons like Cotton Candy????
If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you assume put me there?
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08-11-2010 17:05 by CJ
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Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films. "Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
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08-11-2010 17:00
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wasted away again in Margaritaville
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08-11-2010 16:54
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My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
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08-11-2010 16:46
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