Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5672 of 6384
going to the strippers to start work...i grease the poles and disinfect the stage... :D
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08-24-2010 21:47 by edward
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The one good thing about my hand is I dont have to take it home afterwards..
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08-24-2010 21:40
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Did you know Mark Twain had a son? His name was choo choo... choo choo twain
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08-24-2010 21:14
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I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
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08-24-2010 21:13
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IROC=Italian Retard Out Cruising
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08-24-2010 21:01
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so awesome, even my Camaro says Iroc!
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08-24-2010 20:49 by jables
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The saxophone still hasn't been brought to justice for everything it did in the 1980s.
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08-24-2010 18:44 by jdpower
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I support precisely enough global warming to flood Jersey Shore.
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08-24-2010 18:42 by jdpower
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was looking through my wallet and found the condom I had in there has a hole poked in it...touche gas station attendant
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08-24-2010 17:51 by Chris
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I tuned into the Miss Universe Pageant hoping to see Miss Jupiter, but it turns out only Earth entered the competition.
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08-24-2010 17:34 by Shamus
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Why is it that, in a world full of silicon chips, hand held computers, waterproof paper, and manned space travel, can I not get the little chain to stay attached to the drainage plug in the back tank of my toilet seat
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08-24-2010 17:23
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Sing as if no one is listening, work as if someone is watching, make love as if you need the money, and dance as if no one is going to post it on Youtube."
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08-24-2010 16:25
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doesn't get why everyone blames the craziness on the "full moon".. the moon is ALWAYS there, you just dont see it all the time
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08-24-2010 16:12 by Yaj
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On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?
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08-24-2010 16:11
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Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?
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08-24-2010 16:02
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was out side working and this clear salty liquid started coming out of my skin every where... I may need a Doctor... I think I may be melting..
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
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08-24-2010 15:40
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If a cannible was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electricuted for his last meal?
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08-24-2010 15:39
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Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
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08-24-2010 15:15
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Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
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08-24-2010 15:13
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