Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5578 of 6384
At least once a week, everyone should bike to work, so there will be less traffic for me.
You don't have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo.
If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time.
I asked my co-worker if he think he's going to Heaven. He said, "Hell yea!"......
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09-29-2010 13:35 by @TeeWuu86
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duck tape makes no! no! no! sound like mhmm! mhmm! mhmm!
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09-29-2010 12:57
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welcome to walmart.......get your sh*t and get out
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09-29-2010 12:49
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I've got to quit sleeping with the news on all night. I woke up this morning thinking I had just saved the world from terrorists.
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09-29-2010 12:26
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You know your life is boring when happy hour is when the kids take a nap.
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09-29-2010 11:39 by AT
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I find it helps to organize chores into categories: Things I won't do now; Things I won't do later; and, Things I'll never do.
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09-29-2010 11:37 by Aaron
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Wirtten on Hand dryer in Airport: Press & wait for a message from the President.
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09-29-2010 11:03
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What does the nfl and brokeback mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck
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09-29-2010 10:45
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I am now an official card carrying member P.E.T.A. - People Eating Tastey Animals.
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09-29-2010 10:12
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stopped by the cash machine today, printed out my balance statement, and it read "B**CH, YOU JUST GOT PAAAAID!!!" wohooooo! I ♥ YOU PAYDAY
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09-29-2010 10:02
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You know things are tough when my retirement plan consist of playing the lottery :(
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09-29-2010 09:53 by Mark
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remember the days when Blackberry and Apple were just names of fruit?
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09-29-2010 09:50
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Sick! You can type your Facebook Password into a comment and it comes up as stars!! ********** haha cool!
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09-29-2010 09:49
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I hate that show HOUSE. He always finds the cure 3 minutes left within the show. That gimpy son of a b*tch...
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09-29-2010 09:17
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I wish my laundry were more like me and do itself.
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09-29-2010 09:15 by Mike M
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knock knock??? whos there?? I eat mop! I eat mopwho!! haha you eat your poo
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09-29-2010 07:38
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God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts...
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09-29-2010 07:10
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