Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5529 of 6384
I came up with a stupid status today, but I forgot what it was.
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10-14-2010 22:12 by BEGO
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Arguing with a fool proves there are two.
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10-14-2010 22:07 by BEGO
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Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!
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10-14-2010 22:06 by BEGO
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*Looks at the world* --- *Looks at his keyboard and furiously presses Alt+Ctrl+Del*
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10-14-2010 21:21
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Ever accidentally pull something out of your purse thinkin it was a pen when checking out?? Yep, that's how my days goin...
Don't make me use UPPERCASE.
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10-14-2010 20:59 by Aaron
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I just got an inappropriate text message from Bret Favre.
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10-14-2010 19:06
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drink up everybody! Its somebody's birthday today.
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10-14-2010 17:53
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goes from married to single in 5.5 shots of Tequila.
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10-14-2010 17:51
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Doesn't have children , she has insane little mental patients !
It's really awkward that all of the people who post the "how did you meet me" statuses are all people I haven't met.. then again, I don't go outside
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10-14-2010 16:48
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What do women and dog sh!t have in common? The older they are, the easier they are to pick up
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10-14-2010 16:45 by jimbo
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Really hate how some of my friends try to fish for compliments with their posts that say "post one word that reminds you of me" I always post back, I can't think of one word, but there are two that really stand out to me.
somehow dressing up in spandex and my underwear seemed like such a great idea when I was a kid. Tried it today, if anybody needs me I will be in the Pysche Ward for the next two weeks.
Went to the store to buy groceries for my kids at the store today. Was shocked in the Ceral Isle. There were 40 different varities of Captain Crunch. Really? How many combos of sugar squares and sugar balls can there be?
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10-14-2010 16:34 by NoodleBoy
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really annoyed with the new Hollywood 3D Craze. There are some things you don't want to see in 3D, Jack*ss comes to mind.
I love them all.....Fake (+)(+) , Perfect (o)(o), Perky (*)(*), Cold (^)(^) and even Grandma's \o/ \o/ Big ( • )( • ) or small (.) (.) save them all. REPOST for Breast Cancer Awareness.
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10-14-2010 16:23 by Bill
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Had a conference today with my child's teacher regarding her C in Grammar. During our conference, her teacher totally said "funner". ha ha.
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10-14-2010 16:18
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(☼)(☼) = Janet Jacksons Boobs ; (o)(o)(o) = That chick From Total Recall Boobs ;
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10-14-2010 15:32
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so lindsay was caught jumpin a gate tryna escape rehab for a soda.. I'm guessin it was coke.. .
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10-14-2010 15:13
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