Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5503 of 6384
with or without you, I'm still going...
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10-24-2010 13:32
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How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under hes arm, hes says a pint for me and one for the road,,,
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10-24-2010 13:19 by dave edge
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Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair? A: Artifical Intelligence
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10-24-2010 13:19
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I'm the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I'm asleep.
If you're gonna flip out on your Facebook, don't delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
congratulates singer Celine Dion and her grandfather on the birth of their twin boys.
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10-24-2010 13:10
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Just imagine if we all actually became what we said we wanted to be when we grew up... The World would be full of Ninjas, Princess, Mermaids and Dragon Slayers....
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10-24-2010 12:55 by Donna
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Just Got Dumped Because Her Boyfirend Said He Couldnt Put Up With Her Filthy Habbits, I nearly choked on my toe nail
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10-24-2010 12:10 by Nicola
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God created man before woman... but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
Perseverance is not a passive submission to circumstances , it's not passive endurance -it's a strong and actve response to difficult events of life...it's the quality on standing on your feet as you face the storms..it's not simply the attitude on facing
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10-24-2010 11:36 by Valeria
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...Dear Katy Perry: there were girls around with nice boobs before you were born. there will be girls around with nice boobs after you die. get over yourself, please.
have you ever noticed that there are some people that don't need to be on facebook. They either inadvertenly cause drama, or they are prone to the late night drunken facebook status updates
- The term Friend is put about far too easy .... A friend to me is more about action then words !!!
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10-24-2010 11:14
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Some people were born just to take up space like the first slice of bread in a loaf.
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10-24-2010 10:31 by Nazir
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I like my ice at room temperature.
I was so depressed last night and called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck….
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10-24-2010 07:46 by thullqst
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SEX is not the answer!! Sex IS the question... 'Yes' is the answer! :)
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10-24-2010 06:10 by Elbow
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Wonders how much I will go for on ebay. Let the bidding begin!!!
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10-24-2010 04:29 by Hot Tea
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