Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5491 of 6385
I hate it when I get pissed, SLAM the door, storm out of the house.. then realize I have to go back in for my car keys..
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10-27-2010 10:12 by timboss
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I'm in one of those moods that only a virgin sacrifice will appease.
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10-27-2010 09:30 by Aaron
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And the Hedonist of the Year award goes Charlie Harper, who couldn't be with us tonight. Accepting the award on his behalf is Charlie Sheen. Oh, wait ... what's the difference? =p
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10-27-2010 09:20 by TMP
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Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger.
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10-27-2010 09:12 by Aaron
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Some people have all the luck. They're called "cheaters."
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10-27-2010 08:42
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Society would improve leaps and bounds if people would just stop putting those stupid Transformers emblems on their cars.
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10-27-2010 07:14 by tomcall
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Whoo yooh A suicide book..got my mother in laws christmas present..};-)
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10-27-2010 05:30 by gday
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Remembers the dude that answered his door in sweats and a motley crue tshirt who forgot it was Halloween? He rumages through his cupboards and out of guilt gives you 10 pop tarts and a tube of pringles...........Halloween Jackpot.........
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10-27-2010 00:26 by corey c
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Okay so who really has the boardwalk piece from McDonalds??
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10-27-2010 00:02
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watched several people 'ducking' while running through the rain tonight ... does that really help?
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10-26-2010 23:11
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Dear Tummy , sorry for all the butterflies . Dear Pillow , sorry for all the tears . Dear Heart , sorry for all the damage . Dear Brain , you were right .
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10-26-2010 22:55
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Life is a journey, with plenty of stops at the liquor store to make it bearable.
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10-26-2010 22:54 by Aaron
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We already won, we already won, we get Lebron James, it's already done...NOT.
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10-26-2010 22:24 by Jay
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All this 'get on my level' $hit seriously... get ya head out ya a$$, no one cares about your make believe levels of life.
Wonders if a cow from china would understand a cow from the US or do they moo different languages?
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10-26-2010 21:56 by @seddy90
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just getting jiggy with it!
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10-26-2010 21:40 by Steve OH
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the Chairman for the Frostbite Falls Society of Wildlife Conversation. Well, somebody's gonna have to start talking about these things.
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10-26-2010 21:37 by Steve OH
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Sometimes, it's not so easy being Fearless Leader.
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10-26-2010 21:32 by Steve OH
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maybe Lebron left his talents in South Beach.
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10-26-2010 21:29 by L
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Sometimes, the problem is your underwear.
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10-26-2010 21:22 by Hot Tea
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