Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5482 of 6385
Why does a pumpkin smile after being torn out its entrail ..
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10-30-2010 09:28
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so busy , in fact I have more on than a redundant stripper.
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10-30-2010 08:54
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As my 5 year-old nephew and I carved my pumpkin today, I swear I heard him say, “That's what happens to snitches.”
I got to get my life on track if I still expect Elton John to change the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" for me.
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10-30-2010 07:58 by Leeferd
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Did anyone ever think that Charlie Brown could have used some counseling? I mean seriously, the kid was bullied, made fun of, and was bald by the time he was ten!
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10-30-2010 05:38 by nick
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accidentally burnt dinner.. probably a good thing I'm dressed like witch for everytime I open the door, smoke from inside the house comes out and the little kids thinks it's cool
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10-30-2010 03:22 by Elbow
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Oh, nothing just admiring the shape of your skull..
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10-30-2010 02:30 by Wolf
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the inside of my car looks different sober!?
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10-30-2010 02:10 by levon
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Trending Now - #1 Mindy Cohn..... WTF?
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10-30-2010 01:44 by levon
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"That Wonka is a liar!", exclaimed by my six year old son when he realized his Everlasting Gobstopper was getting smaller and changing color.
Teacher: Imagine you're in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do? Boy: Easy, stop imagining.
does anybody still reminise the days of Celebrity deathmatch?!
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10-29-2010 23:36
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I'll make you swallow your pride!!
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10-29-2010 22:58 by BEGO
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About that pumpkin.. line the cut edges with cooking oil to keep that jack-o'-lantern fresh for a longer time.
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10-29-2010 22:58 by Steve OH
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the oldest I've ever been so far.
going downstairs to see what that noise was... powers out but BRB.
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10-29-2010 22:37 by Steve OH
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Ready for my new work out video ABS of BEER!
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10-29-2010 22:01 by Mckibben
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thinks Charlie Sheen should change the name of his TV show to "2 1/2 Grams & A Hooker"
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10-29-2010 22:00
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Why is the list of vision providers in 4.5 font? I know I need glasses; that's why I am looking for a provider. You don't have to rub it in.
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10-29-2010 20:38 by CSR
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Apparently I drank enough purple juice to make me believe I could crip walk across the dance floor last night.
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10-29-2010 20:21 by white guy
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