Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5452 of 6446

The honorable Lt. Frank Drebin is gone.. Yet Nordberg is still with us.. Wheres the justice?
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11-29-2010 12:08
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Go to Google Translate and translate from German to German. Paste this into the box "pv zk pv pv zk pv zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpvpvzk kkkkk bsch" Click Listen!
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11-29-2010 11:38 by Kelevra
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You know when you need a vacation when you start pretending the shower head is a waterfall!! ; /
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11-29-2010 11:05
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I am definitely spending too much time on this here internet thing. Today some rude dude bumped into me and I said to him out loud, "Double-you Tee Eff?!"
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11-29-2010 10:38 by JC
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Just when you think you have buried the past, They find another Body...

I guess as long as all participants are over 18, I'm okay with Cyber Monday...
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11-29-2010 09:56
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I am not afraid of heights... I am afraid of widths.

...When she walked away her ass looked like 2 midgets fighting under a blanket.

If you can't laugh at yourself... I will gladly do it for you.

I wore a leather jacket and a lady said a cow was murdered for that... I said so you were a witness now I have to kill you too.

Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
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11-29-2010 09:49 by John
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Two Beer or not Two beer. William ShakesBEER
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11-29-2010 09:39
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It's not easy being humble when you're flawless.

If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
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11-29-2010 09:02
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Life is less like a box of chocolate and more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I don't know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
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11-29-2010 08:49
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
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11-29-2010 08:41 by dunno
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MONDAY: Mentally Overworked, Nauseated, Dysfunctional And Yucky
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11-29-2010 08:28 by Legarzia
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alright ladies...time to put down the booze n get busy on theses dishes...
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11-29-2010 08:10
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