Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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You know you're at the top of the naughty list when you get nothing under the tree, coal in your stocking and reindeer crap on your roof! 
: OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!
Snowmen for sale....some assembly required!
I somehow managed to get chocolate inside my shoe. And somehow mustered the bravery to figure out it was chocolate.
It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.
At the rate at which I'm going I doubt if I'll remember the last week of 2010....
Dear Facebook Family...Thanks for being the Joy to my World...Merry Christmas!
There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries
no matter how many years go by I still always end up getting banished to the kid table.
just called 911. To report a fat white guy in a red suit just broke in to my home and snatched up a plate of cookies. Hey fatty you left your presents. We got your finger prints and we be looking for you. You so dumb.
Got a flannel sweater for the 9th year in a row. Thanks mom! Can't wait to see what I get next year.
Due to 9 empty traps, today's planned Iron Chef Reindeer Challenge will be postponed.
Dear Kardashians, your 15 minutes was up a few months ago...
My friends cars gas tank is on E. And we're still driving. Call me crazy.......but I think we just beat the system!
thinks Bill Gates and Steve Jobs should be Santa Claus and forced to give us all presents
broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????
I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(
some weird fat man with a white beard wearing red clothes just shoved me into a big red sock... OK people, which one of you asked to get me for Christmas??
The healthiest part of a donut is the hole. Unfortunately you have to eat through the rest of the donut to get there ..
When I was a child, I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect. Although I never did receive that Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000. 