Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5140 of 6446

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
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03-15-2011 04:01 by RoN
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Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
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03-15-2011 04:00 by RoN
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A word to the wise ain't necessary it's the stupid ones that need the advice

Religions change; beer and wine remain.
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03-15-2011 03:36 by RoN
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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
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03-15-2011 03:34 by RoN
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Here's what I've learned about dogs: They're a lot like pretty girls. Having one or two around makes everything more fun, but when you get a whole bunch together, it turns into one big power struggle.
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03-15-2011 03:31 by RoN
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
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03-15-2011 03:30 by RoN
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When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
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03-15-2011 03:26 by RoN
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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03-15-2011 03:25 by RoN
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If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter!
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03-15-2011 03:00 by RoN
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BEER!!!! now cheaper than gas...DRINK......DON'T DRIVE!!!!!
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03-15-2011 00:51 by CJ
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Hold your tounge and say " I won a math debate"

i wonder if men who wear skinny jeans have to wear thongs too since there is clearly no room for boxers or briefs in those things
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03-14-2011 23:29
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SAY ''I won a math debate'' really fast & click the like button if you get it
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03-14-2011 23:11
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The bad news is radiation is now pouring from two plants in japan, the good news is Godzilla could be a real possibility in a few years.
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03-14-2011 23:07 by Tad
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I been seeinq the same posts for the past weeks. yall needa to stop slackin, I need more qudd statuses (:

Who wants to bet I don't have a gambling problem?
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03-14-2011 22:28
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I dont have a gambling problem!! How much you wanna bet?

ATTENTION STRIPPERS: Now that the US will be distributing coin dollars instead of bills, you might want to invest in a fanny pack, goggles, and a helmet. BOW CHIKA WOW WOW.
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03-14-2011 21:49
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Who wants to bet me I don't have a gambling problem?
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03-14-2011 21:44 by JimmyCos
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