ptv Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drinking; for those times where the most economical choice is a vacation that's close to home
←Rate | 07-21-2011 21:12 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon Walk into kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote you lost 30 minutes ago
←Rate | 04-04-2011 21:47 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look at it this way; if the world's meant to end in 2012, at least you won't have to pay $10/gal for gas
←Rate | 04-30-2011 20:27 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon So is it the 3rd or 4th refill of water into the nearly empty liquid soap bottle that makes you ghetto?
←Rate | 12-29-2011 00:08 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel like a million bucks today! Just wish I had luck finding a bank that will accept self esteem as a form of payment
←Rate | 02-19-2011 15:37 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon A thunderstorm is God's way of saying his electronics will always be better than yours
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:18 by PTV Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you don't have a love in your life, don't worry. If you keep living a life with no regrets, either your love will come or someone will regret living their life without you.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 15:47 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon My condolences to Snoop and the rest of the Dogg family. RIP Nate Dogg
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:44 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can usually figure out many parties I've been to lately by counting the extra lighters I woke up with in my pocket.
←Rate | 03-10-2011 18:53 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember: warning labels exist because someone failed at using the product correctly. scary when you think about windshield sun covers and the warning "do not drive while intact"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:37 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon If only Dave Chappelle was still around to say "I'm Charlie Sheen b*tch. It's a celebration b*tches."
←Rate | 03-03-2011 11:31 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was grateful for the fact that Facebook now groups similar posts (i.e. "10 of your friends posted about Valentine's Day"), so I can just skip past them. Unfortunately, I have friends that can't spell 'Valentine'. LOL
←Rate | 02-14-2012 21:49 by PTV Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can use facebook for things other than finding a partner now that I can count on the gas pump to screw me
←Rate | 04-29-2011 00:27 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon blah. with all this warm weather, the opportunities to write my name in cursive in the snow are disappearing.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 02:18 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if there's a business in Facebook psych evaluation? after reading status after status you would think instead if it saying "what's on your mind?" it says "how crazy do you want your friends to think you are?"
←Rate | 03-23-2011 17:05 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon hey look on the bright side LeBron. you have all those endorsement deals including the one who just called for you. wants you to be the new face of the board game "sorry"
←Rate | 06-13-2011 01:15 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like how Facebook tells me I found these friends using their friend finder. um no I found these friends before I had hair on my balls back when I could have been rich had I thought of Facebook
←Rate | 06-08-2011 22:31 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever you feel like an idiot, just remember that flushing the toilet correctly already makes you less of an idiot than someone else
←Rate | 08-17-2011 23:22 by ptv Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel like a ninja when I wish people happy birthday on Facebook at 12:01am
←Rate | 04-07-2011 01:11 by ptv Comments (0)  


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