Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   What jackass put up the saints and field goal posts comment??? The Saints scored the most points in the NFL this year. Very smart fan!!

   Many Jägerbombs = (Good Times + Memory Loss) / (Loss of Balance - Contents of Stomach * Hangover^115)

   - In my effort to be considered a "normal person", I shall now close my eyes, create fictional scenario's in my head and lay still for atleast 8 hours.

   God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ate all my oreos and were always peeing on my toilet seat.

   Hey Facebook, thanks for updating the style of your page for the 15th time ... I am really amazed that I get a different segment of the news feed everytime I refresh also. Great job! /endSarcasm

   Gary Busey kicked @ss during his halftime performance.....

   Would like to thank all you Colt fans for talking so much Sh!t it makes winning so much better!

   Thought the commercial showing the president as a chicken (or was it a c@ck) was pretty funny

   TCP/IP, UDP, the seven layers of the OSI Model, encapsulation, decapsulation, data, packets, frames, bits, subnets, routers, switches, RIP, Gateways, and many other things have stolen my sanity this evening, and I don't even care.

   trying to get a grip on reality, but the gravity of the situation hit me like a falling brick. It broke my hold, so now I can't get back. I guess I'm stuck in this fantasy world for a while.

   What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the super bowl?....Dallas Cowboys

   Great..now the lamest sports slogan ever WHO DAT will never die..

   anything is possible with boobs

   thinking about building a house made of unopened Bud Light cans and bottles....[The commercial inspired me]

   you better keep yo' hands off my Momma and keep yo' hands off my Dorito's.

   ..lost £50 on the Super Bowl. That's the last time I bet on a horse.

   ..oh dear. Some special ed class somewhere is missing a student..

   OMG another wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl! Did anyone else see Pete Townsend's belly????

   Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license...

   "The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ...."