Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I miss the days when people used to be less nostalgic.

   feels sorry for people who are on trial. Their future is put into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

   Relax people, they made holograms of Tupac, Dick Clark can still appear on New Years Eve.

   Some people think their religion and political views are “correct” and everyone else to them must be wrong. Some people seem to think their view of what work and life should be (or can be) is the right one…and everyone else is a dumb-dumb.

   The Obamacare website doesn't work, just like most of the people who voted for Obama.

   I wasn't that drunk. "Dude, you walked into Wal-Mart and when the voice came on the intercom, you dropped on to your knees and screamed, “GOD HAS SPOKEN”

   There's nothing that irks me more than guys fawning all over a hot, yet insecure dysfunctional actress type on facebook, as if they're gonna "get some". It's like watching people kissing the a$$ of a train wreck.

   So i'm heading down to the ballgame with my 2 buddies, and some guy says to me: "are they going too". I replied: "No, there just coming to sit in the car while I watch the game"... Why do people stupidly state the obvious?

   Just deleted all attractive people from his facebook friends list. Woah that feels better.

   If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road' Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.

   Anti hate groups protest hate groups for wanting to take away people's rights, by taking away their rights. That kids is a mental illness.

   I just found 20 dollars! I guess good things do happen to bad people!

   Making snow angels & writing Ron Paul underneath because people need to know the truth

   some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

   Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them.

   Kim Kardashian just tweeted that she is cleaning up her closing and will be selling her stuff on eBay auctions. Get ready to catch crabs people.

   People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.

   Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this op

   It seems that nowadays people just add random symbols or letters after a colon and call it an emoticon. Like really? What the hell does :H mean.

   In life it doesn't matter what people say about you... Most of them f##kers dont even know the real you, so who gives a toss what a bunch of sad twisted plebs think... The people who love and respect you the most know the person you really are.