g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:24 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your boyfriend remembers your eye colour after the first date, then you probably have small tits
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:30 by G0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when you click a thumbnail to view a larger picture but the picture ends up being the same size as the thumbnail.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 03:06 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
←Rate | 01-14-2012 05:14 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's annoying when you think of an awesome idea or thing to do and within the next few minutes, you completely forget what it was, but the memory of how awesome it was still lingers.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 17:31 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon My son just spoke his first words to me: 'Dad, where the f**k have you been the last 20 years?!' It was so cute.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:51 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:44 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only one that when somebody says "10 years ago", thinks about 90's instead of 2002?
←Rate | 01-22-2012 18:51 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is that girls in tamp0n commercials dance and laugh? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burn!ng sh!t down?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 20:42 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon People think i'm shy because I don't talk or participate much in conversations. The truth is I don't really give a f*ck what they're talking about.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 19:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Due to the Global Financial Crisis, Ke$ha will now be known as Ke¢ha.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:56 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved...Do you SEA what I did there?...I'm SHORE you did, BEACH.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon .I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund… B!tch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:25 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… Sounds like Santa's got a Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come rappers always brag about being criminals and committing crimes, but then whine like little babies when people illegally download their music. Dang hypocrites.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:46 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's that little bit of you that secretly thinks you'll be famous some day.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 16:59 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a $100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?"
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:50 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 19:22 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your manners slowly disappear the more you have to repeat something. Example: Can you pass the salt? The salt, can you pass it. No. The SALT. GIVE ME THE SALT!
←Rate | 10-14-2011 00:28 by g0re Comments (0)  

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