Status Message Generator | Status Messages

Latest Status Messages Comments

View Status Messages

I feel like we should wait to hear Adele's ex-boyfriend's songs before we choose sides.
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
Hawonk I don't get it.
5 years ago

Not now, I'm binge watching the weather channel.
     Respond | View All Comments
No spoilers please! I want the season ending to be a surprise.
5 years ago

Bill Murray walked up to me today in McDonalds, grabbed a fry off of my tray, ate it, and said " No one is gonna believe you"
     Respond | View All Comments
Jay Emm I don't believe you!
5 years ago

My buddy was playing a drinking game where he’d take a shot of whiskey every time Trump lies. His funeral is Tuesday.
     Respond | View All 3 Comments
Ray Riley So edgy and original. You’re quite the provocateur.
5 years ago

12 years of school and I'm still not sure if it's “grey” or “gray”
     Respond | View All 4 Comments
PennieLane Both are correct.
5 years ago

for the question "Do Amish murderers get the acoustic chair? The answer is no. They use static electricity from the carpet.
     Respond | View All Comments
Jay Emm Amish homes have hardwood floors. They woud have to rub a cat and a sheep together to get static.
5 years ago

just found out the guy I'm dating is married. wild. I always just thought he was doing a bad borat impression.
     Respond | View All Comments
Hillbilly Married guys act like Borat?
5 years ago

If your ever wondering who your real friends are on facebook just delete your account and see who calls.
     Respond | View All Comments
Michael *You're
5 years ago

Insanity runs in my family..it practically gallops.
     Respond | View All Comments
LS Runs or gallops? Make up your mind!
5 years ago

Now IKEA is closing its plant and moving to Europe. So much winning....
     Respond | View All Comments
IKEA id a foreign-owned company. They have every right to do that.
5 years ago

That silly moment when your gas tank is on 'E' and you turn the music off like it's going to save gas
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
Miss Y It does save gas. Where do you think the power comes from?
5 years ago

If you're mad about The Little Mermaid not being white, wait until you hear about Jesus.
     Respond | View All Comments
D-Man Everyone is talking about the new Little Mermaid, but Hollywood isn't going to convince me that a black woman was swimming underwater getting her hair wet...I know better than that!!!
5 years ago

Hey everyone. Remember to leave out a riffle and some Budweiser, this 4th of July eve, or Kid Rock won't bring you any fireworks.
     Respond | View All Comments
Wes What's a "riffle"?
5 years ago

I wonder what Mark Zuckerberg does to kill time?
     Respond | View All Comments
Kauai He robs Hawaiian Natives of their land
5 years ago

I start every day with Cap'n Crunch, and end every day with Captain Morgan because apparently I want to be a Pirate..
     Respond | View All Comments
Ha ha
5 years ago

At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
     Respond | View All 3 Comments
That sure would make me become a donor
5 years ago

Vegetarians don't eat meat but they want their food to look like meat. Got it.
     Respond | View All Comments
Don’t be a dik If you could have the same thing without all the suffering, why wouldn’t you?
5 years ago

The man who never apologizes, wants an apology. The irony is strong with this one.
     Respond | View All Comments
NoItsNot No it’s not.
5 years ago

A belt may hold up your pants but belt loops hold up the belt, so who's the real hero??
     Respond | View All Comments
Los8383 Mitch Hedbergs joke
5 years ago

I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that's a D you moron!
     Respond | View All Comments
Dan I posted this a few months ago. This website is nothing but a big repeat.
5 years ago

I put my fitbit on the refrigerator handle. Amazing, my daily activity has increased 10 fold....that's the ticket....
     Respond | View All Comments
Bindi Try putting it on the dogs collar. Even beter.
6 years ago

I would rather trust a billionaire who becomes a politician than a politician who becomes a billionaire.
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
Tallmtnman Or one that became a multi-millionaire, right?
6 years ago

Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
14 - 17 still illegal.
6 years ago
JW She was actually 17...
6 years ago

Our first lady will be doing a live show. Will there be a pole involved?
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
No, #walkaway makes to much sense. But thanks anyway bro. 👍
6 years ago

Had the most amazing dream of my life last night I feel as if was like a revelation that could change my life and possibly the lives of millions of people around the world for the better forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
     Respond | View All Comments
Was the dream about stealing this status this same status that was posted a couple weeks ago?
6 years ago

Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
Cyndi It's bad but back years ago that's the way it was girls were wives at 14 but never in history wait OK to rape 100s of little boys over and over
6 years ago
Truman Chuck Berry?
6 years ago

Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.
     Respond | View All 3 Comments
Easy way to remember what way to set your clocks is: SPRING FOWARD, FALL BACK.
6 years ago

Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
Then there’s Jerry Lee Lewis.
6 years ago

Our first lady will be doing a live show. Will there be a pole involved?
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
#walkawayfromwalkingaway
6 years ago
#walkaway
6 years ago

I'm hoping the next big Trend will be modesty.
     Respond | View All Comments
Right!!!
6 years ago

Just because school isn't for you, doesn't mean rapping is.
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
I hate rap.
6 years ago

Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
     Respond | View All Comments
Say hi to Napoleon.
6 years ago

I would rather trust a billionaire who becomes a politician than a politician who becomes a billionaire.
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
Karen O I would like to see the tax returns of any President claiming to be a Billionaire
6 years ago

Only resort to violence if necessary like if a coworker says "another day in paradise".
     Respond | View All Comments
So true.
6 years ago

When you work hard, save your money, go out and buy that expensive thing you've always wanted, then your lazy friend says "Must be nice."
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
^^ Yeah, IDTN did.
6 years ago
^^ I see someone has chosen hate over love.
6 years ago

At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
     Respond | View All 3 Comments
I guess that when it comes to the morality over choosing love over hate, IDTN chooses hate.
6 years ago

Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.
     Respond | View All Comments
^^ original or not, I think it's funny as hell! Crybaby boy! Lmao!
6 years ago

I'm so old that the only room I can go into and remember why is the bathroom.
     Respond | View All 2 Comments
Image-status.com 'Sometimes, being hurt too many times, doesn't make you stronger, it destroy who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today.''
6 years ago

That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
     Respond | View All 6 Comments
^^ Do I know know? This is the first time I talked to you.
6 years ago
^^ Maturity is severely lacking here. Mostly on your part. I thought I'd hand some back to ya. Here's for ALL the times you've done the same thing to me. **cheers** ....and thanks for proving my point that you DO cry.
6 years ago
^^way to answer my question like a mature individual.
6 years ago

Yo Jussie...this $3,500 check bounced!
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
Jim Acosta's Ego Hillary was the cause of 9/11.
6 years ago

That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
     Respond | View All 6 Comments
^^ Do you not cry?
6 years ago
^^^ Does he not lie?
6 years ago
^^ With your name games and Jussie's hoax, I think it's fair to say that liberals do more than their fair share of lying.
6 years ago

Yo Jussie...this $3,500 check bounced!
     Respond | View All 8 Comments
At 2:57. It was genuine.
6 years ago
View Status Messages