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   messageicon When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you've done well.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 11:57 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think all women who say, "All men are Jerks" mean to say, "All the men I chose to date are jerks" or put simply, "I am attracted to jerks"
←Rate | 05-17-2011 13:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I saw a baby with a onesie that said "Mommy only wanted a backrub."
←Rate | 09-01-2011 08:16 by CharlieTuna Comments (1)  


   messageicon I blame Subway!! The kids had a better chance of outrunning Jared when he was fat......
←Rate | 07-07-2015 18:41 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found my old Boom Box. Anyone have 56 D-batteries I can borrow
←Rate | 12-27-2015 13:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 14:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized it was just a homeless guy yelling at pigeon.
←Rate | 03-18-2015 20:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I yelled, "Finish Him" at your wedding.
←Rate | 04-17-2015 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're never too old to throw random sh*t in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 10:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon To this day it still upsets me that all of those times that Forest Gump was separated from his true love, he never ONCE thought to pick up a phone and dial 867-5309.......
←Rate | 09-26-2013 21:35 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gay joke in three, two, One Direction.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 01:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my wife to start a conversation.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon One for the money... Two for the show... Three to get ready... Four to speak to a customer service representitive... Press * to hear these options again.
←Rate | 12-03-2015 16:46 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
←Rate | 04-18-2014 06:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 18:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd much rather have a sex tape released to the public than a tape of me trying to run in flip-flops.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 07:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon waiting for the boring weekly "hating mondays" statuses...btw, I'm gathering mondays to throw at you!
←Rate | 10-03-2010 16:26 by Monday Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come a “drunk” girl on my facebook is able to enter her username and password correctly but when it comes to writing a status she types “90]]]]]]]]]POSPASFD@#”
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:00 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are like glass...sometimes its better 2 leave them broken rather than hurting yourself trying 2 put them back together!
←Rate | 05-06-2010 06:00 by Donna knight Comments (0)  


   messageicon earns a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 18:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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