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Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute.
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03-12-2010 09:49
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keeps mixing up Myspace and Facebook and is always inviting people to come on My Face.
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06-21-2009 00:48 by
Vybe
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you could single handedly make my dreams come true! or you could use two hands.
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07-16-2009 12:15 by
turmoil
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just realized while reading the newspaper, that in cartoons the person on the right is never allowed to speak first...
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09-23-2009 02:14 by
Hunter
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If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed. - Today's media and Nazi Propoganda
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05-24-2017 12:24
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Never rob a bank with a vegan... They will tell everyone.
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08-11-2016 18:30 by
Snotty
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I think before people are allowed to protest and try to overturn an election, The protesters should first be required to take a basic Civics 101 class.
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11-12-2016 02:14
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ladies first is just a polite way of saying I wanna check out your booty
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07-07-2011 20:47 by
bumpz
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Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front
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07-26-2011 20:58
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Sometimes my mind wanders. I don't know what it does the rest of the time.
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08-02-2011 00:04 by
Hot Tea
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"If your wife can't handle a compliment, maybe she shouldn't keep such a well groomed moustache!"
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09-07-2011 04:22 by
Delburtington
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They say so many people die because of alcohol... Perhaps they never realised how many of them are born because of it.
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09-10-2011 06:04 by
@clarkysj
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Keeping a Blockbuster card in your wallet is like carrying $100 in Confederate bills.
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04-11-2011 17:09
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Just got a letter from one of those traffic light cameras. No ticket; just a picture of me with the caption "Nice shirt, douche bag."
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04-12-2011 07:54 by
flinnie
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My goal for today is to not post anything stupid on Facebook and to learn how to boil water.
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01-30-2011 12:23
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Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's chocolate involved.
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02-09-2011 21:11
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If you asked me to guess what perfume the lady next to me is wearing, I think I'd have to say every one she owns.
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02-27-2011 13:46
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Its funny, not once as a kid did I watch The Muppets and noticed the strings.
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02-27-2011 18:36
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There is no greater revenge then one who dig's their own grave
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03-02-2011 10:07 by
Quinn
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I like you.You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
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06-11-2011 06:14
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