Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute.
←Rate | 03-12-2010 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon keeps mixing up Myspace and Facebook and is always inviting people to come on My Face.
←Rate | 06-21-2009 00:48 by Vybe | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon you could single handedly make my dreams come true! or you could use two hands.
←Rate | 07-16-2009 12:15 by turmoil | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon just realized while reading the newspaper, that in cartoons the person on the right is never allowed to speak first...
←Rate | 09-23-2009 02:14 by Hunter | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed. - Today's media and Nazi Propoganda
←Rate | 05-24-2017 12:24 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Never rob a bank with a vegan... They will tell everyone.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 18:30 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think before people are allowed to protest and try to overturn an election, The protesters should first be required to take a basic Civics 101 class.
←Rate | 11-12-2016 02:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon ladies first is just a polite way of saying I wanna check out your booty
←Rate | 07-07-2011 20:47 by bumpz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front
←Rate | 07-26-2011 20:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes my mind wanders. I don't know what it does the rest of the time.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 00:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If your wife can't handle a compliment, maybe she shouldn't keep such a well groomed moustache!"
←Rate | 09-07-2011 04:22 by Delburtington Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say so many people die because of alcohol... Perhaps they never realised how many of them are born because of it.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 06:04 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keeping a Blockbuster card in your wallet is like carrying $100 in Confederate bills.
←Rate | 04-11-2011 17:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a letter from one of those traffic light cameras. No ticket; just a picture of me with the caption "Nice shirt, douche bag."
←Rate | 04-12-2011 07:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My goal for today is to not post anything stupid on Facebook and to learn how to boil water.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 12:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's chocolate involved.
←Rate | 02-09-2011 21:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you asked me to guess what perfume the lady next to me is wearing, I think I'd have to say every one she owns.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its funny, not once as a kid did I watch The Muppets and noticed the strings.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 18:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no greater revenge then one who dig's their own grave
←Rate | 03-02-2011 10:07 by Quinn Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like you.You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
←Rate | 06-11-2011 06:14 Comments (0)  



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