Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 676 of 5593

   messageicon Marriage.........when dating goes way too far!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:07 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 15:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet women's trust issues with men started with a weatherman.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 07:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, please. Get a hold of yourselves. There's enough of me to disappoint all of you.
←Rate | 08-05-2012 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mars rover "Curiousity" has landed and less an hour later, something has stole 2 rims off of it...
←Rate | 08-06-2012 02:13 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at: I'm calling the police.
←Rate | 08-08-2012 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You haven't experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 07:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn't invite me over.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 16:11 by Mimi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The less people you chill with, the less shi t you have to deal with
←Rate | 01-17-2013 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 10:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I wish my iPhone would interfere with the airplane's navigation equipment and we would land in California instead of Detroit....
←Rate | 02-06-2013 08:45 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind playing games as long as we both end up naked at the end.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 09:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one gets to the age of fifty without making a few enemies.
←Rate | 02-23-2013 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor won't tell me the diagnosis unless I upgrade to Bonus Features.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes the difference between pleasure and pain is one inch.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I bet you I can get people to buy the shirt from a game they don't even know how to play." -Ralph Lauren
←Rate | 03-29-2013 10:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love your job but don't love your company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else thinking they should drop Mike Rice into North Korea, just to get the ball rolling already?
←Rate | 04-05-2013 13:11 by Tmp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn’t grab you is to use the run and jump method
←Rate | 04-08-2013 11:07 by Barber Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that part in Toy Story 3 were Andy gives away his toys? Well I find that part sadder than the whole twilight movies..
←Rate | 11-27-2012 00:43 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left