Funny Status Messages

   Treating others the way you what them to treat you is a great way to live your life. It may also quite possibly be sexual harassment...

   Well.. I was going to vote for a candidate but I saw a meme on Facebook,,, so now I'm going to vote for another candidate

   "Could you guys just have your election now?" - The entire world to America

   As your next President, I promise to remove all things Kardashian....

   I bet Batman's cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.

   .... If dueling to the death made a comeback today .... I bet people would start being a heck of a lot less offended!

   I just saw a commercial for Oprah's Farewell Season. I think I may jump for joy!!

   Rarely does one meet a ferret owner that isn't really creepy and weird

   lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

   need advice on how to make a paper cut to the jugular look like an accident.

   Logging off Facebook is like trying to get away from the bar. It's always, "I'll just have one more..."

   ˙ɹǝʌoƃuɐɥ ʇsɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sɐɥ

   Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe, I'll have another beer.

   not really rude, she just says what everybody else is thinking.

   Due to the current economy....I will no longer accept a penny for my thoughts. I want $1 for them now.

   The voices in my head have switched to sign language just to mess with me.

   anything more annoying then a stupid person who clearly doesn't know they are stupid!?

   For those of you who like to STIR THE POT..be sure you get a good grip on the handle!!

   Strangers have the best candy.

   A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.