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You know you're a bad driver when your GPS tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
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06-04-2014 05:32 by
andrew jackson
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At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
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08-07-2014 12:36
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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
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09-10-2014 20:19 by
Dan
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Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
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09-19-2014 20:03
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Women with large breasts are generally more successful than men with large breasts.
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02-19-2016 18:09
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If I ever get a hamster I'm naming it MC Hamster. I might buy one for that reason alone....
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06-17-2015 11:53
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My nickname at work is "I thought they fired you"
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06-18-2015 16:51
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Whenever I see a suggestion box, I put in, "Get rid of suggestion box."
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07-05-2015 19:51 by
huck
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Why must I prove I'm me, if I'm callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
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07-09-2015 19:43 by
Jitney
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2
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No man has ever won a game of 'notice anything different about me?'
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07-12-2015 21:08
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The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
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10-12-2015 09:44 by
flinnie
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Remember that episode on Cosby Show where Vanessa got drunk and was hung over..........I'm thinking Cosby did that
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12-31-2015 09:56
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P0rn is so unrealistic, I just took a shower with my girlfriend and stood in the corner freezing for 20 minutes handing her different shampoos
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12-03-2014 07:51 by
Baddie
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Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
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12-14-2014 03:21 by
Kisstopher707
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So...you got married, cheated on your spouse, got divorced and now can't seem to find a good, honest person?? Sounds like you just got owned by karma.
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01-27-2015 13:28
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Just watched my daughter's boyfriend take 90 seconds to get a straw in a Capris Sun. Safe to say I can put the shotgun away now.
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02-13-2015 15:45
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I'm at that age now that if I am at a bachelor party and a stripper jumped out of a cake I would worry that she will get hair on my peice.
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03-22-2015 12:29
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I'm terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.
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03-30-2015 04:48 by
flinnie
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All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
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12-08-2013 07:51
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Can't believe it's been a whole year since the world ended in 2012
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12-14-2013 13:32
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