Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I also think it's adorable how their putting jokes on the sides of snacks now. .. Like listen to this one, ,,"serving size 3 cookies "

   It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One you will see after a while, whereas the other, you will see them later.

   2016 Presidential election. ISIS is claiming responsibility for this act of terror.

   .... All Lives Matter ..... Well .... Except: terrorists, rapists, child molesters, cop killers & anybody who hates America. Screw those those people!

   Yup ... Once you advocate killing cops ... You are no longer protesters ...... You are now Terrorists!

   I asked my dry cleaners if they accepted credit cards and they said yes and then I asked if by chance they accepted declined credit cards.

   Rule number one for our new Ice Maker: If ice falls, kick it under the fridge.

   They say that we are what we eat. That means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!

   America paid Bill $500,000 a year to screw Monica. Guess who Hillary is gonna screw...

   Ancient ad featuring a very young Rolling Stones singing. Because of their age now, they should call their next shows the "Snap, Crackle, and Pop Tour".

   I have decided to stop paying my psychiatrist. I can post my problems on Facebook, and have all my friends help me for free!

   OMG I'm so happy! I finally won one of the 350 PS4's that were being given away. I also won one of Dodge Chargers that couldn't be sold and were being given away to random people, and my Dream RV is on its way all for pushing "like" and "share".

   What's so bad about the Zika virus anyway? Some people like a little head.

   I'm a nervous wreck about this election, because I'm too rude to live in Canada

   I'm beginning to think that this election scenario has turned into our own version of the "Kobayashi Maru"

   I made food for my son, set it in front of him like he was going to eat it and then we just laughed and laughed.

   Remember,,, When one door opens, another one opens, and then another, and another.... Because kids.

   It used to be only captured criminals covered their faces with their jackets... Now it's people telling pollsters how they're going to vote.

   When I talk to myself,,, it's probably medically classified as Tourette's.

   My autocorrect just changed "hiatus" to "hi anus" on this email subject line to my boss, so I guess I don't work here anymore.