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   messageicon walking down the street when this man hammering on his roof called me a paranoid little freak... In Morse code
←Rate | 04-23-2010 10:58 by Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Criticism is the best sign you're onto something.
←Rate | 05-10-2010 14:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm Tom Bodett of Motel 6, we'll leave the Lysol on for ya"
←Rate | 06-08-2010 18:05 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are only 3 steps to sleeping with alot of women. 1). Have your own place. 2). Have a bar in your place 3). HAVE NO STANDARDS
←Rate | 06-22-2010 12:01 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wants to find something else for my dryer to eat besides one of every sock.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 03:11 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon ya ever notcie that the most comfortable one can be in bed is always one minute before you have to get up?
←Rate | 07-09-2010 16:23 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're starting a sentence with "not to sound like a b*tch," guess what you're going to sound like...
←Rate | 07-30-2010 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just left the bar. Did you guys know you can leave while you're still able to walk?!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 17:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching the food channel when you're hungry is like watching porn.
←Rate | 08-17-2010 12:47 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Facebook saved me from a terrifying keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself addiction.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My insomnia has narcolepsy...
←Rate | 10-31-2010 20:58 by flinter Comments (0)  


   messageicon learned something today: when a homeless man is blocking an entire stairwell, vigorously fiddling with his crotch, it is in everyone's best interest that he simply be left alone.
←Rate | 11-01-2010 17:49 by lifedefiance Comments (2)  


   messageicon To the guy in the stall next to me who's "attempting" to sit down...what's with all the TP? Are you a germaphobe or are you trying to build a freaking NEST?!
←Rate | 11-02-2010 10:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the font smaller, or am I on acid??
←Rate | 11-03-2010 22:56 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do paper towel dispensers in public restrooms give you just enough to keep your hands slightly damp?
←Rate | 11-09-2010 13:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, if we get caught, just act like we don't speak English. Ok?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a meeting: "Let me reiterate what was just said" can be translated to "I have nothing productive to add but I like the sound of my own voice and think I'm important so I think I need to waste 5 more minutes of all your days"
←Rate | 12-08-2010 11:27 by Stragen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is a window of opportunity ... why the hell does it knock? Shouldn't it be a door? No wonder so many people miss opportunities. They answer the door, not the window.
←Rate | 01-20-2010 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would if he could: Change his relationship status to "Pimpin'...and it's complicated"
←Rate | 01-30-2010 13:20 Comments (0)  



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