Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Vaping is becoming so popular, I heard Jihadi Johny gave it a try today.. and I'll bet it works so good for him that he'll never smoke another cigarette..
←Rate | 11-13-2015 15:37 by MWARD Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Update the force, Luke"....... *Adobe Wan Kenobi
←Rate | 11-13-2015 16:05 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon a good woman will always forgive you when she's wrong
←Rate | 11-13-2015 16:11 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon    In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.
←Rate | 11-13-2015 19:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 'If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
←Rate | 11-14-2015 07:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drop Dead Gorgeous females... Just because we want to hang out with you, doesn't mean we wanna bang you. It just means we're looking to expand our small circle of friends, and you seem like you would be a worthy candidate. No need to be stuck up.
←Rate | 11-14-2015 10:41 by @blackberrybrenden Comments (0)  

   messageicon Officer that's a medicinal hooker I swear !
←Rate | 11-14-2015 22:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im starting to get alarmed at the rate which Facebook keeps bringing up things from my past
←Rate | 11-15-2015 00:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon BEER BATTERED FISH: Still don't understand how beating it with a can of beer makes it taste any better.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 05:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 10:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't roll your eyes at me. We aren't married yet.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 12:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one knows you better than your browser.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 12:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We prayed for France and Lebanon now let's take a moment of silence and Pray for Ronda Rousey 🙏🏼🙏🏼
←Rate | 11-15-2015 17:08 by Remy911 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before Facebook, I used to write this stuff on slips of paper and put them in the pockets of unsold pants at Old Navy.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 17:30 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did someone wake up Ronda, I'm sure she had things to do today.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 18:41 by Nandoish Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spoiler for the new Peanuts movie: Peppermint Patty finally comes out of the closet and we learn why Marcie has been calling her "Sir" all these years.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 18:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon don't let her cry her way outta the argument. she's an adult. you can yell at her through the tears. be strong, bro.
←Rate | 11-15-2015 23:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 07:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let me get this straight: The passports of the 9/11 terrorists, of those on the MH17, and of one of the Paris bombers - all survived! I don't know about you but I think it's time we started making clothes out of passports!
←Rate | 11-16-2015 07:35 by Cybus Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scrolling thru my feed it looks like an advertisement for Aqua fresh toothpaste.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 08:30 Comments (0)  

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