Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Human beings can be such a$$holes to each other.
←Rate | 11-08-2015 23:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon baby your a$$ is fine but stop bringing your donkey to the club.
←Rate | 11-08-2015 23:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hold on.. Lemme find a pic of me with my clothes on.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 00:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be the reason she gets that 8th cat.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 00:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And then her mood ring just...exploded
←Rate | 11-09-2015 01:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank you for pointing out that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I thought it was yesterday.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 09:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm all for going out to a social gathering but I draw a line at someone starting a conversation with me
←Rate | 11-09-2015 11:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women are supposed to be beautiful and hard to catch, like butterflies. But most of ya'll are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 11:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a friend who started saying "anyhoo," so I had to distance myself.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 11:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're giving me directions, please don't confuse me by using words like north, south, east or west.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just ask Tommy. Hilfiger it out.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 12:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon at this point in our culture I'm very surprised there aren't people with nut allergies boycotting the peanuts movie
←Rate | 11-09-2015 12:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 13:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If we were going to give this planet an enema, we would stick the hole right here in the United States.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 13:12 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I guess all the sinners have been saved, the homeless housed and the hungry fed so now we can focus on protesting the new Starbucks cup!
←Rate | 11-09-2015 13:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everytime a women Posts a status a mans breakfast,lunch,or dinner is late.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 14:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 18:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you start a sentence with ''i'm not a racist/sexist/homophobe/etc''... there is a 99.99999% chance that you are.
←Rate | 11-09-2015 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends @JhonRules
←Rate | 11-10-2015 00:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  

   messageicon She preaches, "It's what on the inside that matters." But then go on to post 20 selfies per day.
←Rate | 11-10-2015 01:01 Comments (0)  

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