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   messageicon My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she prolly meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
←Rate | 09-06-2012 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone gives you a business card, stick it in your mouth and eat it without breaking off eye contact
←Rate | 09-15-2012 16:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me..
←Rate | 09-20-2012 15:12 by Gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Respect for women, starts with your mother
←Rate | 09-22-2012 16:38 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should never fully trust the person who seems to never have to get out of the pool to take a bathroom break.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 20:04 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 23:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by how many people brazenly wander into traffic while staring at their phone, there must be some force-field app I don't know about.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 06:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont worry people, you can still wear your LiveStrong braclets. Just cross out the V.
←Rate | 01-18-2013 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies... If you want guys at the bar to leave you alone don't tell them you have a boyfriend cause men don't care about that. Tell them you have a þénís.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 12:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 13:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid they didn't call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
←Rate | 02-16-2013 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:41 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear girl in Walmart, Yes it is summer but your shirt and shorts are way too small and you look like a half opened can of biscuits. Sincerely, The guy in line behind you clawing out his eyeballs..
←Rate | 04-13-2013 07:04 by Michael askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
←Rate | 04-28-2013 21:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got an email with the subject line "Whales are counting on you". I responded "Whales are making a serious mistake"
←Rate | 05-28-2013 12:07 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to the BMI chart I am too short.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 13:36 Comments (3)  


   messageicon When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from google know it's urgent.
←Rate | 06-22-2013 13:53 by Dambass Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around,,, Will the entire tree still be used to print a single CVS receipt?
←Rate | 04-03-2014 19:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon This milk is so far past it's expiration date I'm only gonna have a small slice.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 19:19 by ZEP Comments (0)  


   messageicon Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
←Rate | 01-17-2014 14:09 by Yaj Comments (0)  



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