Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Wife asks her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
←Rate | 11-28-2010 15:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:46 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:57 Comments (4)  


   messageicon There are so many people looking for Bin Laden, I think they should also search for Joyce Dewitt from Three's Company. She vanished over 20 years ago. Not even TMZ seem to know where she is.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 20:40 by JeremyCakes Comments (2)  


   messageicon You're one of those people who pushes when the door says pull aren't you?
←Rate | 04-12-2010 00:34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now sounds a little better than, it's 1:15, I'm trashed & horny...
←Rate | 04-30-2010 23:42 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
←Rate | 05-12-2010 09:01 by johnny5 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just saw an ugly, pregnant woman and thought, "Good for you."
←Rate | 06-21-2010 18:41 by Phire Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
←Rate | 02-20-2010 00:20 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 10:07 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Twitter: The site where people signaficantly want to get stalked(Follow) and tell people their business where nobody cares. Lol....really. But they love it
←Rate | 07-17-2009 14:37 by Danmanz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think once I get past the restraining orders and the court dates and the stalking charges....I really think this relationship can work!!!!
←Rate | 11-06-2009 18:28 by danstreet36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has always wondered why The Muppets had large protruding eyes. Then she realized that if she had a hand up her ass, her eyes would protrude too.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 09:53 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife was mad because I wouldn't ask for directions even though we were lost. So she makes me pull over and she says to a guy "Please tell my husband where we are.And say it slow so even he'll understand." Then the guy says " BURRR GERRR KIIIING!"
←Rate | 08-28-2010 20:55 by Jeremycakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ordered the food, seatbelted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember the days when you would leave for work, and say goodbye to your spouse, lover or partner, knowing you probably wouldn't talk to them until you got home from work? No cellphones, emails, texting, facebook, blah, blah! Man, though were the days...
←Rate | 10-06-2010 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to spin around in a chair and say: "I've been expecting you."
←Rate | 12-18-2010 10:25 by Esoteric Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is basically a crazy house. People poke each other all day, have an imaginary pet, farm, and city, talk to walls, and have random arguments with people.
←Rate | 01-18-2011 18:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's six inches long, two and a half inches wide, and drives women wild?................................. Money
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:16 by Dopey420 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!
←Rate | 01-25-2011 18:47 by Will Comments (0)  



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