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I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can't find it...
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03-21-2014 21:25 by
StonerDudee
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Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
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09-06-2012 10:20 by
flinnie
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women these days.....some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE.
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10-22-2012 16:39
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My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
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06-14-2010 17:16
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You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"
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03-28-2010 02:11 by
Dylan Bosch
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Why are so many people obese these days? Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99
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03-13-2012 18:26
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Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping
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04-30-2012 14:20
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A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
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05-03-2012 10:31
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I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment
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01-07-2012 13:35 by
snotty
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we should have a way of telling ppl their breath stinks with out hurting their feelings like: "well i'm bored, lets go brush our teeth!"
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01-25-2011 21:27
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Spinning my mouse wheel because that's how I scroll
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04-17-2011 14:07 by
Aaron
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The awkward moment when you`re at your friends house and your friend is getting yelled at by the wife so you just stand their and pet the dog.
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06-13-2011 15:41
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My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
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03-11-2011 13:59 by
abbybaby34
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Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
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07-11-2011 12:09 by
SuthernFukr
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You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: you're 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little sh!t.
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12-12-2011 09:54 by
SuthernFukr
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When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs.
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01-27-2012 09:31 by
flinnie
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Hitting the treadmill to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress.......
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06-11-2012 22:37 by
Maureen
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Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway.
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05-02-2012 21:14 by
BEGO
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If I win the lottery, all of my neighbors are going to be rich!!! I'm going to move to a rich neighborhood!
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03-30-2012 16:48
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The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the "I'm sick" voice.
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02-28-2012 10:12 by
SuthernFukr
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