Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can't find it...
←Rate | 03-21-2014 21:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
←Rate | 09-06-2012 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon women these days.....some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 06-14-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"
←Rate | 03-28-2010 02:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are so many people obese these days? Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99
←Rate | 03-13-2012 18:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping
←Rate | 04-30-2012 14:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 10:31 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon we should have a way of telling ppl their breath stinks with out hurting their feelings like: "well i'm bored, lets go brush our teeth!"
←Rate | 01-25-2011 21:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spinning my mouse wheel because that's how I scroll
←Rate | 04-17-2011 14:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The awkward moment when you`re at your friends house and your friend is getting yelled at by the wife so you just stand their and pet the dog.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
←Rate | 03-11-2011 13:59 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 12:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: you're 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little sh!t.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs.
←Rate | 01-27-2012 09:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hitting the treadmill to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress.......
←Rate | 06-11-2012 22:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 21:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I win the lottery, all of my neighbors are going to be rich!!! I'm going to move to a rich neighborhood!
←Rate | 03-30-2012 16:48 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the "I'm sick" voice.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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