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Page: 432 of 5577
After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a pop singer.
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08-26-2013 13:09
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Today was the kind of day where I understand how someone could become an alcoholic...
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08-28-2013 13:01 by
eengrms
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Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
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09-01-2013 17:22 by
snotty
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I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
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05-16-2013 01:06 by
Baddie
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Kristen Stewart doesn't get enough credit for her acting ability. I thought she was great as "Wilson" in Cast Away
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06-08-2013 14:14 by
Baddie
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It is a scientific fact that the gravatational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!
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07-23-2012 08:35 by
Abraham Lincoln
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Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you.
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03-04-2013 16:19 by
Jackoo
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By the time I've said "Nice to meet you" I've already forgotten your name.
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03-12-2013 12:47
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So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called "Ain't nobody's business." Well, I just wrote my own song called, "Ain't Nobody Cares!"
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01-13-2013 13:11
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Ever notice the roof of your car is the worst cup holder ever?
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01-20-2013 21:16 by
Aaron
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Theres no "I" in "team" but there are 5 in "individual brilliance."
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10-20-2011 09:09 by
Katana
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My Wife and I have a beautiful little girl who we named after my Mom, in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow
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10-30-2011 11:42
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1 female smurf, 50,000 boy smurfs, no wonder they all had blue balls
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11-08-2011 20:52 by
randygalaxy
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Am I the only person who thinks that Walmart is missing out on a major opportunity by not having a Golden Corral in all of their stores?
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01-28-2012 09:30 by
hihuggiehi
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Everybody deserves second chances, but not for the same damn mistakes.
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02-23-2012 22:41 by
BEGO
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Note to self: sex with inflatable doll not as good as advertised.
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02-26-2012 18:40
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Privacy is very important to me. That is why I only share sensitive information with my closest 480 friends on Facebook.
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02-28-2012 13:49 by
Canadian25
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I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be.
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05-01-2012 17:54 by
SKoop
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keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in the closet?
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05-10-2012 19:14
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That rose tattoo on your ass was SO hot when you were 19. Now it looks like red cabbage
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07-03-2012 15:06
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