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Page: 423 of 5577
Probably the worst time to say "Or what?!" is when the cops are telling you to drop the gun and step out of the vehicle.
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08-14-2012 10:23
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I cant stand when people say a babies age in months after a year old. "Yeah he's 29 months old", B$tch don't make me do math.
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08-16-2012 21:54 by
BEGO
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All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental.
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08-19-2012 20:48 by
Jacksje4
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Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China.
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08-30-2012 10:46
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After sex, I like to cuddle up to her, wrap my arm around her, brush her hair and whisper: "Welcome to rock bottom."
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02-28-2013 09:45 by
JEBI
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I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
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03-03-2013 06:11 by
Baddie
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Leadership is a privilege to better the lives of others. It is not an opportunity to satisfy personal greed.
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03-04-2013 15:06
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These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
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03-18-2013 19:33
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I'm guessing if we see pink smoke, that will mean the justices has reached a decision?
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03-27-2013 15:00 by
sully
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The South Koreans should do a psy-op on the North Koreans by placing massive TV’s at the border blasting Gangnam Style on a continuous loop.
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04-06-2013 03:46
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can't we just assume everyone loves their children and hates cancer??
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04-10-2013 09:58
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We all have someone at work we make fun of. If you don't, its you.
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04-12-2013 04:12
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A girl broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution??? I sent them to her dad.
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03-01-2010 17:45 by
Marshall the Great
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got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
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10-16-2009 11:44
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wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.
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04-22-2009 23:49 by
Vybe
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Be nice to your neighbors. They're the only ones who'll know the difference between your good scream and your bad scream
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02-15-2011 18:48
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I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.
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09-06-2012 13:56 by
Jackoo
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Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.
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07-24-2012 23:22 by
Aaron
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The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man's ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
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12-07-2012 16:49 by
snotty
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If my neighbors dont tone it down a little bit, I am going to have to change my WiFi network name to "I can hear you having sex".
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03-04-2010 00:08 by
Vito
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