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Page: 408 of 5577
There's nothing wrong with having sex with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
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07-12-2010 01:52 by
lemonpillow
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If at the end of your life you have no regrets, you did it wrong.
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07-15-2010 11:19 by
Marshall the Great
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Most popular iPhone App of the month: Public Telephone Box Locator.
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07-20-2010 18:40 by
lemonpillow
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If you ask me a question, I say "I don't know" and you ask me again, prepare for a very ridiculous answer.
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08-22-2010 18:20
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that moment you wake up from a drunk night and ure scared to look at ur facebook statuses.
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08-23-2010 14:54 by
ashley
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The best part of watching an actor on an environmental crusade is when he gets on his private plane.
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08-23-2010 17:18 by
jdpower
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What goes around comes around; wait for revenge, revenge waits for you
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08-23-2010 23:06
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talk sh*t again, and its going right back in your mouth.
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08-24-2010 07:10 by
ashley
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90% of the time when I say "brb" it just means I don't want to talk to you anymore
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12-18-2010 10:28 by
Esoteric
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Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
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12-21-2010 18:02 by
Aaron
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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01-12-2011 02:23 by
RC
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If you can't say something nice, we're probably related.
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08-25-2010 12:53 by
MBH
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Someday, I'd like to take a train across the country.. but they never leave the keys in them.
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09-11-2010 08:46 by
Aaron
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You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!
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09-15-2010 00:57 by
gb
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You know those neighbors who spy on you and then blab to everyone else? My neighbors have one of those.
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09-15-2010 17:19
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Women always worry about the things that men forget, men always worry about the things women remember.
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09-19-2010 22:56
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Don't make decisions when ur angry... and don't make promises when ur happy...
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09-19-2010 23:07
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thinks if I ever get put in jail and sentenced to death - my last meal is going to be a McRib and a Shamrock Shake - that should buy me some time cause they are never available at the same time.
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09-23-2010 06:40
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If at first you DO succeed, someone's probably going to think you cheated.
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10-09-2010 09:32 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm surprised there isn't a "ABC's Rockin' Chilean Miners Rescue Special" hosted by Ryan Seacrest.
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10-13-2010 01:12 by
jdpower
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