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So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....
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03-08-2013 09:41 by
SlowMotionNinja
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Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.
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04-25-2013 21:11 by
Maureen
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Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing him.
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05-31-2013 15:29 by
SEAN
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Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something.
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08-10-2014 13:00 by
Baddie
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To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
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07-19-2015 09:00
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Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
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01-07-2015 21:30 by
darthdav
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I’ve set my “life goals” to stuff I’ve already done so literally every day now I’m overachieving. It’s all about perspective.
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03-11-2014 05:24 by
andrew jackson
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According to my current parking spot, I'm Chief of Police.
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05-21-2014 09:57
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I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
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12-10-2013 05:43 by
flinnie
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Bananas don't go back once they go black either.
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01-17-2014 22:46 by
Aaron
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Why do people post missing person posts on facebook? Like we're going outside...
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01-23-2014 21:05
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My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
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02-12-2014 04:39 by
flinnie
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If you're gonna take a selfie at a funeral, at least get the casket in the background!
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12-11-2013 04:55
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All I need right now is a hug, and five hundred thousand dollars in cash
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12-14-2013 13:34
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All I'm saying is some of us would get in the van without the candy.
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12-17-2013 09:09
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The mega winner says she picked the numbers by her kids birthdays… Please tell me what month has 39 days
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12-19-2013 09:32 by
Yoda
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Justin Bieber was drunken driving in Florida? Where is George Zimmerman when you need him!
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01-25-2014 21:42 by
BBB
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Fun thing to do #26: Stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
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07-14-2015 22:04 by
flinnie
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People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
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08-08-2015 06:24 by
huck
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Twenty percent of all relationships fail because someone buys a selfie stick.
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09-27-2015 19:31 by
snotty
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