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   messageicon I just watched a mattress commercial where the lady said, "It feels really good, no matter what position I'm in".....Why can't I meet a woman like that????
←Rate | 04-14-2011 19:04 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait 'til I'm rich enough to throw things away that accidentally fall in the toilet.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 15:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what the person I`m going to marry is doing right now
←Rate | 04-18-2011 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I need a moment to myself, I just go on MySpace.
←Rate | 05-14-2011 17:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Picking your nose doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's what you do with the booger.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 11:49 by Quinn Comments (0)  


   messageicon This world is not going to make any real progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."
←Rate | 04-09-2011 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend told me yesterday, "You only ever hear what you want to hear!" "Thank you," I replied. "I have been working out."
←Rate | 09-13-2011 15:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The show "Toddlers and tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in training" and "Mothers with self esteem issues" just wasn't as catchy.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 12:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I'm inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 19:17 by glt23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your manners slowly disappear the more you have to repeat something. Example: Can you pass the salt? The salt, can you pass it. No. The SALT. GIVE ME THE SALT!
←Rate | 10-14-2011 00:28 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss questioned my enthusiasm today. I can't believe he woke me up just to tell me that.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 12:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have ADHD. It's like ADD except the picture quality is phenomenal."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 14:22 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOTE TO SELF: Please stop writing yourself notes. Love, Self
←Rate | 11-30-2010 12:00 by VictorA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope that my last words in this world are: "I wonder what this does..."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:26 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chances are if you're using a pay phone, sh*t's not going well.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 18:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts...
←Rate | 09-29-2010 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!
←Rate | 10-14-2010 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day they never shut our school down for snow.. They just moved the school and made us walk further..
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:00 by timboss Comments (0)  



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