SlowMotionNinja Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm not buying a 2021 calendar until I see the trailer. Not gonna get me again
←Rate | 08-17-2020 16:33 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you mix Taco Bell sauce into your ramen, It tastes exactly like poverty
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:28 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
←Rate | 04-01-2013 22:59 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a disco last night. They played the twist, I did the twist, They played jump, I jumped. They played "come on Eileen"...I got kicked out for that one.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 20:40 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girl all have in common? In each scenario there is a DUMBASS who did not take it out in time
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:12 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....
←Rate | 03-08-2013 09:41 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two kit-kats fall out of a vending machine at once
←Rate | 06-25-2011 22:31 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a question for all government officials and anyone who supports SOPA/PIPA. Do you really want to piss off ALL those hackers all at once?
←Rate | 01-20-2012 10:48 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin and Snookie both Having NY Times bestsellers makes me realize being literate is overrated
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse
←Rate | 03-04-2011 22:20 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Random Dude: "Sup bro you think you could piss in this cup in that bathroom for me I gotta pass this drug test. I'll pay you $60" Me: "...ya..." That dudes screwed
←Rate | 02-28-2011 23:36 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided I am going to write erotica for the elderly. Excerpts from Chapter 1: "He wondered why she took off her Dentures. Later he could not thank her enough."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:10 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I almost choked to death while trying to rap in the car on the way to work. Chewing gum and Wu-Tang clan ain't nothin' to f**k with.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 23:43 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math questions are so dumb! They're like "if you have 30 chocolate bars and you eat 29, what do you have left?" OH I don't know how bout diabetes!!
←Rate | 08-17-2011 11:18 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever you feel powerless, remember that just one single turd of yours can shut down an entire waterpark
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:27 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now...good for them
←Rate | 07-21-2020 09:16 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Why is it that if a girl has sex with more than one guy she's a slut but if a guy has sex with more than one girl he's a legend?" The guy replies "If a lock can be opened by more than one key it's useless but if a key can open many locks its a master key
←Rate | 03-18-2011 21:51 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1st: Chris Brown hits her 2nd: Eminem lies to her and 3rd: Drake cant remember her name. What a life Rihanna has
←Rate | 02-16-2011 21:25 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty sure that J.Lo plus butter equals Snookie
←Rate | 11-29-2010 17:34 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just inadvertently murdered two snails in front of what I can only assume was their son. As a result, I may have just created the snail equivalent of the batman.
←Rate | 09-06-2012 08:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  



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