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WOW! THATS A LOW PRICE! 
Sex is like Spades...If you don't have a good partner, you have to have a good hand.
wondering since Ben & Jerrys came out with Hubby Hubby ice cream for gays, when they gonna make Carpet Munch Crunch ice cream for all the hot lesbians?
I bet the person who started booty slappin in football was gay
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer...
How did Jennifer Lopez become a spokesperson for Fiat? Unless she's there to compare which trunk has more junk, she should go back to singing (poorly).
Treat her like a lady and she'll show you her inner slut.
Santa, this Christmas all I want is a fat bank account and a slim body. Lets not mix the two up like last year, ok?
Whats the point of making cars really really fast if there is a speed limit? like, REALLY, WHATS THE POINT?!?!?!
Looks like Casey Anthony will be available to baby sit my children tonight afterwards!!
Question: If men get "c*ck-blocked" do women get "beaver-dammed"?
Does selling weed qualify as a joint income?
My cat is always licking the carpet in my house. I think she's a lesbian.
POF should change its name to POS
Yesterday in California a couple walking their dog found $10 million worth of rare coins buried in the ground. It's the biggest stash of coins found since Oprah had her couch cushions cleaned.
Please stop calling them "zombies." They are "living impaired."
This time of year when I order a Frosty at Wendy's I like to say "Not the snowman of course hahaha" and then things get a bit awkward.
My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are dating now,& apparently it's getting serious. Kanye is who she wants to spend the rest of the month with.
I want a girl that can swallow my pride. 