Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There are only two people I trust in this world... One is myself, and the other one is NOT you.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who among us has not proclaimed into the whir of a fan, "Luke. I am your father."
←Rate | 12-14-2010 13:10 by Sara Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting his eraser ready for two weeks of me putting 2010 on all my papers.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 18:13 Comments (21)  


   messageicon just had a near death experience and other peoples' lives flashed before my eyes…I have GOT to stop being so f@#king nosey…
←Rate | 01-20-2011 10:42 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:14 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you say the word "douche" fast and repetitively, it will sound like the beat of a techno song that some douche would definitely love.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:19 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing's more chaotic than when the Task Manager freezes too.
←Rate | 09-18-2010 20:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was escorted out of the funeral before I was done high fiving everyone.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing better than waking up to multiple "like"s on ur facebook status
←Rate | 10-07-2010 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 11:30 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn't pronounce it.
←Rate | 01-17-2010 21:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost
←Rate | 01-22-2010 07:35 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss asked me to take an anger management class today. I told him I was angry enough with management as it is!
←Rate | 01-25-2010 09:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not an official disaster until Bono sings about it.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 12:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon read that Toyota is asking all Prius owners to return cars to the dealerships as slowly as they possibly can.
←Rate | 02-18-2010 09:55 by marymc Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
←Rate | 02-25-2010 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that, instead of 45 secs, they should limit tonight's Oscar acceptance speeches to the same as Twitter, 140 characters!!
←Rate | 03-07-2010 12:18 by Rich Fa Comments (0)  


   messageicon (insert random song lyrics that describe how I feel, even though nobody cares)
←Rate | 03-15-2010 11:26 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some guy in the NBA came out as gay. Let’s all talk about this irrelevant sh*t for a week now.
←Rate | 04-30-2013 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges, to stop the weirdos from following you.
←Rate | 05-02-2013 09:05 Comments (0)  



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