Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
3 people everyone hates: - Anyone asking questions when a meeting is about to end - Anyone who holds the elevator for anyone - Kanye West 
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
I invented four new karate moves while trying to get an automatic paper towel dispenser to work
Don't worry; it's only kinky the first time.
Since Wikipedia is in blackout today, in protest of online anti-piracy laws, can anyone tell me where the G-Spot is?
Guess I better get some sleep. I have to get up in 10 minutes.
I don't always drive the speed limit. But when I do, there's drugs in my car.
Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. - I'm out bitc$es
When I say "It's a long story," it doesn't mean it's actually a long story. It means I just don't want to tell you.
It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it....That's Hollywood
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
Yesterday my wife caught me checking out our hot new neighbor and all she had to say to me was, “It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home".
I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
"Have fun" is just a nicer phrase for "have a horrible time without me."
When advertising your business on the side of your car it’s a good idea not to drive like a complete as&hole
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
I hope I live to see the day kindness goes viral.
I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
