Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
FOX News is reporting that 19 of those Arkansas birds were members of Al-Qaeda 
The original plan for Mount Rushmore was to have them all making out with each other.
Didn't Paul Ryan play the part of Eddie Munster ?
Yes a few rounds being dumped into your back is above and beyond excessive force. And murder. But once again, it's very simple, if you comply, you don't die... Pants Up Don't Loot!!!
Im not an angry person...but that chick singing christmas carols in the hyundai commercial makes me want to punch a sleeping baby in the face!!!!
The kids outside my window have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.
If a woman accidentally poops while wearing a thong, is that considered a "log splitter"?
I hate when couples say "I love you." after just a week of dating. Ignorant fools. Makes me want to slap them in the face.
When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far and no one can ever tear them apart.
saw a nun in a wheelchair and all I could think.. Virgin Mobile.
Laughter is the best medicine. But laugh for no reason and you need medicine.
I was editing my profile and couldnt figure whether to put masturbation under activites or interests.
Snooki's pregnant...? Finding the father is gonna be harder than finding Waldo, but I bet Waldo fuck$d her too anyway.
Found out today you're supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house... just trying to help.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter's date. ..then I told him it's much faster after 11pm
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
Interview Tip: wear your tie around your head like rambo so they know you're serious about business
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
So...how does this Bernie Sanders redistribution work? If I have $10 and my friend has $20, he has to give me $5, right??
K-mart is starting their Halloween sale. They have a lovely selection of Christmas trees. 