Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2186 of 5594

   messageicon Changing a whole text because you didn't know how to spell one word.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 01:24 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am in the process of writing a new country song for someone special....... Its called "If I woulda shot you sooner, Id be outta prison by now."
←Rate | 12-09-2011 06:55 by Reznor Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the people on FB who creep on the reg, yet never post anything and never comment on anything.. I know your out there, and I know your reading this..
←Rate | 01-05-2011 10:56 by Skedee Comments (5)  


   messageicon Damn! Facebook goes through more mood swings and changes than a 18 year old girl........or is it a 21 year old? [ I forgot which one was b*tch!er]
←Rate | 02-10-2010 11:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come"
←Rate | 09-01-2010 15:18 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem isn't government assistance for people who need it. The problem is government assistance for people just because they can get it.
←Rate | 09-20-2012 21:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 13:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When are Korn and Hole going to tour together?
←Rate | 08-14-2011 10:00 by bmw6673 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember Jesus died for our sins, so if you aren't sinning, he died in vain.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 09:12 by l33t Comments (7)  


   messageicon Help control the idiot crisis, get your democrat neutered or spayed.
←Rate | 12-21-2017 22:05 Comments (3)  


   messageicon On next week's walking dead! Guest star Paul Walker!!!....still too soon?
←Rate | 12-02-2013 11:54 by Crazy Eddie Comments (5)  


   messageicon Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:25 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a republican is elected president, then America will have officially dispelled the rumor that once you go black, you never go back.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 19:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To catch me, you gotta be fast; to find me, you gotta be smart; but to BE ME!! DAMN! You must be kidding!
←Rate | 03-03-2009 07:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmmmm. Egypt's people protested and forced their president to resign...what's everyone doing this weekend?
←Rate | 02-11-2011 12:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am sick of USA blaming their presidents for everything! Help yourselves people! You elected him to be your leader not as your nanny!!
←Rate | 11-12-2010 00:24 by Julius Andres Comments (6)  


   messageicon "George W. Bush is nicknamed '43' because he was the 43rd President of the United States. Barrack Obama is nicknamed '44' because that is how many people have signed up for Obamacare."
←Rate | 11-20-2013 01:39 Comments (3)  


   messageicon feels like pile-driving his whiny coworker thru a thick glass table bound with barbed wire into a pool of rubbing alcohol with rusty nails and then set it on fire and drink a beer...
←Rate | 08-26-2009 11:15 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets take a minute of silence for the people of Syria who, without outside help or becoming a burden on any country's economy or taxpayers, are fighting bare hand for their freedom. We are with you in spirit.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 13:19 Comments (1)  


   messageicon if a comedian is in a wheelchair, is it still stand up comedy? No, but it would still be wheelie funny.
←Rate | 06-02-2011 14:52 by jj Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left