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Page: 180 of 5577
Bending over, preparing to do my taxes.
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03-20-2018 15:20
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It's a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
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03-24-2018 09:37
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I turned out ok for a kid raised in large part by Bugs Bunny.
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04-09-2018 15:19
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One of the great things about having kids is that you can check your pulse using the veins on the side of your head
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04-10-2018 15:21 by
markf
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So proud of myself for being healthy & buying vegetables that are just gonna sit at the bottom of my fridge until they go bad.
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04-17-2018 13:16
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"I stubbed my toe today. I'm not ready to share photos yet but I will keep you guys updated daily." - probably Carrie Underwood
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04-23-2018 01:03
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It’s hard to keep loving someone who constantly calls the cops and keeps changing her number but here I am.
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05-06-2018 01:35
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You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
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05-19-2018 08:18
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Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can't make eye contact.
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05-22-2018 07:56 by
@jasonlastname
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Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
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05-28-2018 23:26 by
Kisstopher707
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I listen to all of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. That one makes absolutely no sense to me.
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06-07-2018 07:06
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Ever picked up a copy of your x-ray from the doctors office, open the envelope when you get to the car, hold it up to the light and say....."yeah, I have no clue what I'm looking at"?
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06-08-2018 14:47 by
Jsabbage
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I once booked a cruise just so I could walk around for 7 days saying “Looks like we’re all in the same boat” to everyone else on board.
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06-19-2018 02:11
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The one good thing about an egotist. They don't talk about other people.
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06-20-2018 23:12 by
Jake
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How do Amish women know if it's a romantic candle-light dinner or just a regular dinner?
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06-26-2018 08:27
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To show my girlfriend I liked her cooking I had a second slice of her gravy.
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07-08-2018 22:34 by
Jake
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A decision so bad you wish you had just got a face tattoo instead.
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07-11-2018 15:18
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The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment. If you're attrative it's flirting.
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07-15-2018 04:47 by
Jake
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"You tube's How to use a fire extinguisher shouldn't have a advert before it.
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07-17-2018 23:28
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I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'll even remove your duct tape.
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07-27-2018 12:18 by
Kisstopher707
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