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Page: 175 of 5593
Know why single women are so thin? They come home, look in the fridge and go to bed, married women come home, look in the bed and go to the fridge.
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05-19-2017 05:06
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Apparently the drunk guy at the urinal next to me is under the impression that I was stung in the leg by a jellyfish.
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05-25-2017 23:33 by
snotty
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I'm in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don't really have Tourette's.
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06-21-2017 07:29
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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
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07-13-2017 09:41
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North Korea got missile that can reach Chicago,,, be carefull North Korea chicago will shoot back
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07-30-2017 00:18
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Apparently running around Walmart with alka-seltzer running out of my mouth screaming, “The vaccine isn’t working!”, isn’t funny.
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12-22-2020 00:55
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If your relationship fails, don't blame her. It takes two people to mess up a relationship. Blame her and her mother.
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03-18-2021 19:39 by
Gripenfelter
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It really freaks people out when I use my invisible hula hoop.
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05-07-2020 20:08
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If you are thinking about getting married but are unsure, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" Then remember that Jesus was never married.
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01-24-2016 08:05
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Gray hair is the human body's equivalent of low toner.
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03-24-2016 07:25
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People setting up GoFundMe's because they can't afford a TV... Don't you know that's what lay-a-way is for?
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04-26-2016 21:49 by
eengrms
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Due to the Economy, All dollar stores will be accepting 4 easy payments of 25 cents each.
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05-09-2016 14:30
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So, you're telling me that the Grammys aren't cute little bags of cocaine?
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01-28-2014 12:48
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so happy it's finally Hump Day! Oh, and I'm pretty excited it's Wednesday too.
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04-21-2010 09:45 by
christy
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It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
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05-05-2010 12:15 by
Joser
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Don't worry about buying happiness. Try renting or leasing it to see if it's what you really want.
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03-17-2013 17:08
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I've only been on Facebooks new Dating for like 5 minutes and I've already been matched with a hammock, a new pillow top mattress, a Honda Civic and a... oh wait this is Facebook Marketplace
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10-26-2019 09:43
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Some of you all went from homemade, natural, all organic cleaning products to Clorox real fast...
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03-12-2020 08:39 by
Gabe
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You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu
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03-12-2020 08:39
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A priest rabbi and a nun walk into a ...Nevermind. Bars closed.
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03-18-2020 12:13 by
DJJackson
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